tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15628648654466033262024-03-05T07:53:46.252-05:00Barefoot, Christian and CrunchyWife, Mother, Worshiper of Christ, trying to live on His timetable and not my ownCandace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.comBlogger198125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-70618845130701992692013-05-31T07:54:00.001-04:002013-05-31T07:54:19.012-04:00Laughter from others - by Dylan Novakowski<div><br></div><div>Can't believe how broken and upset I feel. I am one of Gods children He made me new. </div><div>I just got first hand last night that Christians are outsiders and get mocked at in this world. My friend bought me coffee tonight and he bought tents for camp day to support Tim Hortons kids camp. He gave me a couple. So I thought in my mind I will put scripture on them. So on one I put Romans 1:16 and the other John 3:16. Well I got laughed at by the workers and they thought it was funny laughing and saying "ok holy one." Well that did not sit with me well at all and I did not say anything to them. But my friend said that was cool what I did and said "you know it is true that you are meant to preach the word and do missions and that was a good thing what you did." I said thanks not realizing what he said and I have been thinking on it that at least the message was sent and they realized what scripture it was so I hope it sinks in and God can use it. God does use crooked sticks to make straight lines. </div>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-27154345967168014052013-05-16T06:41:00.001-04:002013-05-16T06:42:00.096-04:00Romans 12- Dylan Novakowski<div><br></div><div>The meaning of Romans 12 - Dylan Novakowski</div><div><br></div><div>Believers are to dedicate themselves to God. (1,2) To be humble, and faithfull to use their spiritual gifts, in their respective stations. (3-8) Exhortations to various duties. (9-16) And to peaceable conduct towards all men, with forbearance and benevolence. (17-21)</div><div>"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."</div><div><br></div><div>It's saying to be separate from this world. When you accept Jesus Christ into your heart you should think differently, you should think godly things. The more you read the Bible the more you will be like Christ..</div><div>He sent Us out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. For such as time as this. Luke 9:2 NKJV)</div><div>When did weChristians think it was ok to keep the Word for ourselves? Just think who was the one that brought you to Christ? For me it was PS. Jamie and I still don't know what word brought me to Christ. All I know is that it's our duty to share the word it's our job. When we got Saved are life changed for the better not for worse. Christ never said to keep it a secret He said spread the Good news that Christ is King and He came to SAVE US Amen. There's just as much Christ blood on our hands as the next person. </div><div>It goes back to Romans 1:16</div><div>For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. </div><div><br></div>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-70387506287205022722013-05-09T09:52:00.001-04:002013-05-09T09:52:14.287-04:00Never forced. Natural.This morning we have learned of the sounds of nebulas, had a toad come visit and let our nine month old baby girl experience dew on her toes for the first time. We were up since six. We made the most of each opportunity in between getting ready for school and tidying up dirty plates. Spring always brings me back to the roots of how amazing our Creator is. As the earth fills with the roots of new saplings and flowers my roots dig deeper into Christ. His love nourishes me and replenishes my soul. Living within Christ, such a gift and so much thankfulness. I want to sink deeper and deeper into Him. It happens as His Spirit rains down and replenishes and provides and organically and naturally it happens. Never forced, it's natural. It's what I was created for. In total awe of God, reflecting perfect Love. I am just bathing in this warm reminder this morning. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-26472715489022476002013-03-21T14:40:00.001-04:002013-03-21T16:49:26.182-04:00United we should stand.Yesterday I quoted pope Francis and apparently this caused a stir. I'm not Catholic and while I don't understand enough about the Catholic faith I know some Catholics who are majorly in love with Jesus so I felt a bit upset when I had opposition to quoting the spiritual leader of the Catholic Church. <br />
I just do not understand the big deal between all us ya know? <br />
I understand there are some major differences but is it not Jesus who is the part we are not supposed to miss? I just feel so heart broken when I hear bashing of any denomination but since the Catholics have been in the spotlight more so lately I have heard and seen so much bad taste from other Christians I felt the need to pour out my heart on it. Jesus wanted a church body united. He didn't die for our denominations. He didn't die so we could be Pentecostal, Catholic, Mennonite, Baptist, etc. He died to unite His children, to be free from our sins and have the strength to keep away from them, and have us be His hands and feet. <br />
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There is so much talk lately on how the Catholic Church is flawed but are not every single denomination flawed because we are so split in the first place? What if we all decided to stop looking at the things "they" do wrong and started focusing on the One who is right about us all? It just pains me to hear criticism about one group or another and trust me I have been guilty of it too. I have been in the past very guilty of this. But lately it's unity that I can't get off my mind. Imagine what it would look like!! Imagine if we all took our strengths and battled together against the the enemy which is not the church down the road but Satan and his angels. Imagine! <br />
Anyways , my tiny vent over. I love you all. Carry on. Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-52302366108035521072013-02-23T11:41:00.003-05:002013-02-23T11:41:45.937-05:00When you push through...<br />
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<i>Burning sands and hardened wastelands will become pools, shimmering with life;</i></div>
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<i>the thirsty ground will drink deep from refreshing springs.</i></div>
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<i>Abandoned villages where predators once lurked will become grassy playgrounds.</i></div>
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<i>Dry, arid land will turn lush and green. (Isaiah 35:7 the voice)</i></div>
<br />Things are sprouting in my heart again.<br />I feel the springs spilling over me, like a damn about to give way.<br /><br />Since Christmas I have been in a massive funk. It started to go slow, but got really bad a few weeks into January. So bad I started to roll my eyes at scripture, roll my eyes at God, Christianity, churches, everything. I started seeking elsewhere late nights, searching for that feeling once again that I had, that feeling I had with God that was so close and intimate but seemed to dissapear. I even started a new<a href="http://rainbowsonmyeyelashes.blogspot.ca/"> blog</a>, because I thought my time in Christianity may be over. There is something about Jesus though, He just does not let go that easy. Trying to talk to people about it was good, even though some I spoke to did not quite understand what I was going through, and others got it perfectly. I got really raw, really honest and I think that was good. Being honest and raw is important. So important. <br /><br />Anxiety was at an all time high and I just felt like there was this awful darkness surrounding me. At first it was like Jesus was not talking to me about anything, but He was still present. Then it was like He vanished. The door was shut and I did not want to talk to God at all. I wanted to run away and not look back. <br /><br />Everything started to make no sense to me at all, every last detail. Nothing was right anymore. It hurt hard. It hurt bad. I started to try and figure it out and then God says - <b>Be still...wait</b>- <br /><br />That is<i> impossible </i>for me. Im like OCD ADD and champion at Google and Wiki. I kept trying to figure things out. Again -<b> Be still...wait</b>- <br /><br />I finally decided to wait. Finally. But not until after a few weeks of plugging my ears to the only words I felt He spoke to me in<i> forever</i>. He was probably like -<b>Good, now I can work!</b>-<br />No Google, no opinions, no forums, nothing. I did not look for a group to fit into, a theory to come into agreement with. I just waited. And it was brutal. I am still continuing to be still. But God has shown me some things. Huh, fancy that ;)<br /><br />One night on the way home from knitting with some fantastic ladies I decided all of a sudden that this battle I cannot loose. It was out of the blue, a darn strong determination!!! ROAR! My faith, my peace, my joy I cant let anything or anyone rob that from me. I could be still and wait but be positive and still give praise. My life has a mission on it. I am part of an amazing missions trip everyday. I get up, and raise four children, support an amazing man and take care of a home that is to represent the love of God. Light pushes back darkness and if I pushed light into this awful darkness I was experiencing then things would be more bright. <br /><br />A few days after that I woke up singing a song about being surrounded. He is all around me. I do not know why I started to sing this song. But it gave me hope. The thought of being surrounded by God made me smile. <i>Light cracking through dark holes...</i><br /><br />Continuing to be still...<br /><br />Thursday night a man spoke a word over my husband and I about God being pleased with us and that we had grown a lot. By just being still... by pushing through with joy and love still... by trusting. <br /><br /><br />
This took a lot of tension off me. I felt like I was just stumbling through. The thing is I am starting to realize the more and more we allow God to work in every area, the more it feels less like stumbling. There are rocky, wooded, scary areas of our life that still emerge, but we have His support and endless love and power to help us through. Press in<b> HARD</b> because when we do we can see how hard He presses into our lives and plows through these things we see as awful and impossible. <br /><br />All of a sudden things were just as before the darkness, almost. There are some things I am still very much struggling with, but words are coming to life to me again, I am starting to understand things again. On top of this I am able to make more sense of all the things I was discovering before I was still. Things are starting to become much more clear. I can dance again, I can sing again, I can see goodness in things.<br />
<br /><i>Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.</i> (James 4:8)<br /><br />Oh how true this is!!!<br /><br />And the thing that totally blew my mind is that I drew close to God just by being STILL and WAITING for Him. I did not have to go crazy jumping through hoops. I simply waited. It was SO easy once I got it and obeyed what He was asking me to do. <br /><br />I am enjoying it very much. To be still in His presence, just waiting for those few words He speaks. They are very few, but the power behind them is massive and give such fullness to my heart.<br /><br />Push through the darkness. Push through the bad days with praise on your lips. I can now fully now like never before promise you it is so very worth it!<br /><br /><br /><br />
Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-15115150613780490152013-01-10T10:23:00.000-05:002013-01-10T10:23:18.400-05:00journey... <span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>what do you do when you feel God calling you from the center of your being, from the Spirit He deposited in you that there is going to be a "revival" within yourself? There are curtains of thought, and curtains of doubt and curtains of anger and ego... but in the deep of yourself Holy Spirit stirs and says "</b>watch"</i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">When the most colourful dreams begin to happen as you slumber</i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">When your eight year old daughter has visions. </i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">When all tradition, all effort to strive against the grain, splintering your being is called to stop. To be still because its though the Spirit within that love spills forth and makes it effortless even when its hard. </i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">When things you never thought you would be excited for, make your spirit stir hard and tears flow and you want to dance. Free.</i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">When you read Jesus in a whole new angle. Oh sweet Jesus....</i><br /><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">How He has called us to an amazing journey. </i><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">Holy Spirit dancing within, guiding, teaching. </i><br /><br /><i style="font-weight: bold;">We need only to listen. </i></span><br /><br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-48566391022779741922013-01-09T09:43:00.002-05:002013-01-09T09:43:23.179-05:00The habit of seeking HimI often read a lot. Too much maybe? I read about Bible history, I read my Bible a lot, different denominational views of things, early Christian writings, opinions, thoughts, epiphanies. I read and search. <br />
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I think with myself as well as many others I am just trying to see who I fit in with most. Sometimes I feel as though some others just don't see Christ the way I do. I don't always share my views with many, only because I am afraid my view would be wronged by others and they would make my Jesus "small." I think this is in itself the reason why there are so many different buildings and church denominations to begin with? Everyone seeking to make their Christ work and sometimes we just don't always agree. <br />
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I look back at how I have done this to others. I feel guilty about it. I have really come to a place where I really have come to embrace different ways to Christ, however I have never fully found a group of people who see Christ exactly the way I do. My husband and I in fact have very different ways to approach Christ. The Bible speaks to us quite differently about the Word of God who is Jesus. We know one thing for sure, He came for us, to die for us and save us and gives us new life. He seeks a relationship with us and loves us more than we could ever love Him back.<br />
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We attend a church filled with people all from different backgrounds, upbringings all hungry for Christ. I bet we all have different ways of approaching and being in fellowship with our God.<br />
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But to approach Him humbly, to say "I don't understand all Your ways. But I pray that as You guide me with the Holy Spirit that I will come to go deeper into relationship with You." <br />
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This is a habit I think so vital. <br />
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I do not think He gets upset if our opinions are different, as long as we are seeking Him. <br />
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This is a habit I crave. To get up each morning, and seek Him. When I wake up in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, to listen for Him. In each step embrace His guidance, not worrying if I am wrong or not. <br />
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I have messed up, been confused, and yet, He has always shown me it has to be about Him. Just being still and knowing its not ever about me. But Himself in us, His light shining forth. <br />
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<br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-74955557683501909272013-01-07T09:16:00.000-05:002013-01-07T15:33:42.540-05:001000 gifts for 2013. Yes please<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last year was crazy. 2012 we saw impossible things happen, God move in His mighty ways, gentle ways, blunt ways... He's amazing</span>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We started this year off rocky. I'm going to really try to take the emphasis off me and put it on Him for the next year. Our journeys with Christ are all so different. He is going to take us all through some amazing things this year. I want ALL the glory to be on Him. Refreshed, jumping back into His springs of peace and joy and striving forward to make this year being in Him. Never needing to call out loud for Him, just being still and knowing His Spirit is closer than I am to myself. What an amazing God.<br />So I start refreshed, joining<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/"> Ann</a> and the many others counting to 1000 this year to our 1000 gifts. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Starting again at #1. Gifts from the One.<br /><br />1. long games of "war" with my daughter and husband. Who knew a card game could go on for so long!<br />2. Cookie Monster songs with my 3 year old<br />3. An insane hunger for the words of Christ Himself.<br />4. Operating in the places God wants me to operate and doing it with His strength<br />5. Realizing just how insanely I need the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, words and thoughts,<br />6. Being tremendously honest with myself and others<br />7. Wrestling with the husband. Laughing into hystarics<br />8. My son singing his version of Christmas songs<br />9. Our baby, sounding kinda like an excited dinosaur on the floor. Learning to use her beautiful voice. Children are such a gift<br />10.Not so perfect shots caught on camera. Children who wont sit still. Life constantly moving. We can never capture it all<br />11. Cups of Chamomile tea with the kids at bedtime. Quiet giggles<br />12. Stress... because it gives us an opportunity to fall into the arms of Love<br />13. ultrasounds from afar, watching a life within a life growing.<br />14. the messy amazing journey's God will take you on this year.<br />15. the messy amazing journey God will take me on this year<br />16. questions<br />17. letting the wee baby try some banana... nope not interested. <br />18. 2 Timothy 1:7- needing a calm and well balanced mind- a goal for this year<br />19. triple rainbows in vivid dreams. Scriptures given. <br />20 dance parties in the kitchen <br />21. new babies<br />22 Refusing to sing along, standing stubborn on a Sunday morning with so much anger. God melting it <i>allll</i> away. And just surrendering deep into Him<br />23. babies falling asleep on the floor. <br />24- butterscotch coffee. Oh yes its happening<br />25- my oldest daughter mistaking pumpkin pie spice for cinnamon and making toast. She says it was delicious<br />26- my three year old just making a sugar sandwich... that's not nutritious. <br />27- Baby trying so hard to be mobile. She's figuring it out<br />28- Conversations about God with my husband.<br />29- Digging deeper</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">God approaches when we don't expect. He slips in in the tiniest of forms and yet is explosive, life transforming and amazing. Indescribable is our King.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A Baby who came in, while Mothers cried for their sons, and Fathers grasped to understand. A baby who came in while selfishness, greed, and hatred raged. Love comes down and while its been said a million times, it will forever be said again and again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No one knows how much He weighed but He would carry the weight of our sins on His shoulders. It was finished before it started. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This baby who smelt like birth, fresh and new. Mary breathed Him in as He was wrapped in cloth in the stink of her surroundings. A new plan that was never new, it was decided upon before the first pages of the Bible said "In the beginning." This baby, who would raise with the scent of spikenard because before His hands would be pierced, His Spirit pierced the heart of a woman, and pierced the heart of all those so furious enough to have Him be nailed to a cross. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He touched every single person He came in contact with. This King, came in the most humble way, laid in a trough that was made of the very stones or branches He created, nursed by a woman He molded with His hands. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This King. My Jesus. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Only He could consume the entire Universe with His presence, create billions of galaxies. The mountains tremble and the oaks twist, and yet He became a cell and consumed a womb and burst forth for salvation for many.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Merry Christmas from our family to yours.</span>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-16963023488171797072012-12-20T11:09:00.001-05:002012-12-20T11:09:20.590-05:00Who I am...My goal as this year is nearing an end I am spending it not in the Christmas story but in Ephesians Colossians and John. I am in this space right now where Christ is so huge and so massive that I cannot just fit Him in a manger this year. His glory is contained there yet He spills out. I look at our nativity scene and that baby laying there is so big to me. <br />
I started out in Ephesians and just started reading and not only am I reading about how amazing Jesus is, but the promises I have as His child. I thought this was pretty cool. Sometimes I feel I go through these phases where I don't quite understand it all but Ephesians makes it pretty clear to me what Christ has promised His children and even though I am not really blogging right now I wanted to post it because it is pretty amazing. <br />
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Who we are in Christ<br />
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<b>We are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, chosen in Him before the foundation of the world, predestined to adoption as a daughter (or son) by Jesus to Himself. His Grace is what makes us accepted in the Beloved. We are redeemed by His blood, forgiven by His Grace. We have obtained an inheritance, predestined according to His purpose. We are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise because we trusted Jesus who is the guarantee of our inheritance. We are made alive in Him. We can do NOTHING (emphasis added because I struggle with this one) to be saved it is a GIFT He has given. We are His masterpiece created in Christ to do the good things God prepared beforehand for us to do. We have Christ as our peace and we are united with Him. The blood of Christ has brought us near. Because of what Christ did we can come to the Father. We are citizens along with all Gods people in Gods family. We are a part of His house and Jesus Christ is the cornerstone. We are carefully joined together in Him becoming a holy temple for the Lord. We can come boldly and confidently into Gods presence. Our roots with grow down deeper into Gods love and will continue to grow strong. We can experience the love of Christ even though it is too great to understand fully. We are made complete with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. We are part of a body and we each have our own special work. We are His dear children. We can come against evil because as one of Gods children we have access to His armor. </b></div>
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<br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-65775627722596571742012-11-13T17:03:00.000-05:002012-11-13T17:03:03.154-05:00Seep into Grace<span style="font-size: large;">When I seep into Grace, its like all my senses shift. Its a perspective and a giving and an exhale...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Its one bath of waters I can sometimes forget to allow God to fill.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Boys fight over what colour of playdough belongs to them and I refuse to get out of the water.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I just finished reading Ann Voskamp's newest blog <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/11/what-we-all-need-to-really-breathe/">post</a> and it reads Grace</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My husband walks in with our oldest daughter, and he's playing loud rap music and its preaching the Gospel and the words I hear coming out are the feelings I steep my soul into. Grace.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My husband leaves on missions in ten days and I pray Gods Grace.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As children act out of control after too much sugar and not enough calm. I share Gods Grace as it pours out.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Overflow it into me God so it can pour out onto them.<br />Grace is where I hear Him. Its where His voice is a whisper but its loudest for me. Where my joy explodes and I feel at peace.<br />It leaves me with total respect, head over heels in love and fear of God. He is so gracious. I never want to misuse this Grace. When I lay it down, all of it down and He pours out Grace brand new and it brings me back and I re-center. A Mother works hard, and yet while a body aches from scrubbing baseboards and preparing for winter, a spirit can be at its most strength and most rest because of operating in Him and for Him. Christ is my center. <br />Renewed. Refreshed.<br />Thank You Father for You're Grace.<br />Thank You for those who write continuously about Gods Grace.<br />Its timely, and a spot I wish to never move from.<br /></span><br /><br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-56371293322673955062012-11-07T12:05:00.000-05:002012-11-07T19:21:36.918-05:00They are a gift. <span style="font-size: large;">I sat on the bus. Ear phones in quiet as Tehillah-Joy snuggled up wrapped on my chest under my coat. I was off to visit a wonderful friend who is a 50 minute bus ride away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You can be filled with the knowing of Gods presence even on a busy city bus. God can share and put pieces together while you are being still while out and about surrounded by busyness. <br /><br />I looked down at this baby and she slept so sound. The Kingdom belongs to little ones such as this. Did she know God as He formed her? Did He speak her purpose over her and did she hear His voice whisper and declare it over her? As I wondered these things, how she slept so calm during loud conversations, busy streets and all phones ringing, I remember how God calls us into His rest during chaos. Our world is at fast pace. His rest is vital for our survival. Thoughts of how our purposes are plotted out and this chubby cheeked blessing quietly dreaming right under my chin is part of mine as well as the ones at school and at home with Dad.<br /><br />Its like God in a moment of pause drops the book of purposes for my life down in front of me and the page that flips open is their names and my heart pounds and along with it is a bit of anxiety creeping in. <br /><br />I text my husband <br /><br />"Have you ever been reminded of a purpose God has for your life and its from a slightly different angle and you realize that this job you have while some view as not enough for the Kingdom is so so vital?" <br /><br />It was like God showed me:<br /><br /><b>You need to train up your kids---<i>MY</i> kids in My ways. To teach them of mornings spent with Me before all else. </b><b>They are a gift. They are not yours to ruin, they are yours to show them Me. To know and follow My Son who is so in love with them, to let them fall in love with Him as well. To teach them how easy it is to call out to Me in a moments notice, for everything and anything. You are helping them with their<i> eternity</i>. This is a purpose I have for you. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />I know its not just me who teaches my children the ways of Jesus. We belong to a community who takes the young under their wings as well, showing Jesus' love and grace and shows them all things Holy. But when God grips you so tight, taking your hand and gently shifts you over even if its just a tad to see what you're doing at a different angle it makes me kinda scared. <i><b>Their eternity</b></i>... Holy boley.<br /><br />But God is love and His grace is amazing and all the times He has guided and provided I cannot count. To teach them to trust Him I must do the same. I must take His hand and in moments of feeling unworthy or not experienced enough, remind myself life with Jesus is not about having it all figured out but having a relationship with Him most high. He will guide me through each moment to teach them how to let Him guide them through each moment. He's a true teacher and friend. To show them that is vital. He is nessessary. He is Life. He has to be fully embraced and intentionally lived. </span><br />
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Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-80294336017531927592012-10-25T17:34:00.002-04:002012-10-25T17:46:10.194-04:00What God can gift you in a day<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMz6D9jLTcg5J-GBaRBMVqCSyNSHnRfZ7Fdu7hKcT0rvn095vUKx7aml1vaamjPuBApcjxiC039leU9Zz76xfbOyUeS_YXESKMd79dm-L_EMWZO0jdHCmDVo1I5G0UlMw2amoQqPdU_c8K/s1600/DSC_0093.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMz6D9jLTcg5J-GBaRBMVqCSyNSHnRfZ7Fdu7hKcT0rvn095vUKx7aml1vaamjPuBApcjxiC039leU9Zz76xfbOyUeS_YXESKMd79dm-L_EMWZO0jdHCmDVo1I5G0UlMw2amoQqPdU_c8K/s400/DSC_0093.jpg" width="225" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMz6D9jLTcg5J-GBaRBMVqCSyNSHnRfZ7Fdu7hKcT0rvn095vUKx7aml1vaamjPuBApcjxiC039leU9Zz76xfbOyUeS_YXESKMd79dm-L_EMWZO0jdHCmDVo1I5G0UlMw2amoQqPdU_c8K/s1600/DSC_0093.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs-IHRns-k0uU1RQ8LnvbdJlcM_8TfJkHobi3WiceEeY1JHY8taY-aN2fKDnI8voEIpATLyyuRGUJNyPW8LJa-WEKdvC6twtbhvanQRC5thEH9Xx9tOUbhMg_UagLq7N0lxM-0qxlYx7HZ/s1600/DSCF3832.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs-IHRns-k0uU1RQ8LnvbdJlcM_8TfJkHobi3WiceEeY1JHY8taY-aN2fKDnI8voEIpATLyyuRGUJNyPW8LJa-WEKdvC6twtbhvanQRC5thEH9Xx9tOUbhMg_UagLq7N0lxM-0qxlYx7HZ/s400/DSCF3832.JPG" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">It hit 23 degrees here today. End of October, and everything is golden around us. You would think on a day where two out of your four children had head lice one would be bonkers. But when God gives you breath, and God gives you His grace, how can one flip when the wind blows so warm and graceful past you and babies look at the trees releasing what seems to be like gold. <br /><br />Surrounded by golden foliage dancing to its final rest around you. Not thousands in the bank account but you still feel super rich. <br /><br />The smell in the air is pure perfection. The smell of autumn whispering "<i>He <b>is</b> good</i>"<br /><br />The children run around, kart wheels in bare feet and the leaves leap off their toes.<br /><br />Tehillah, almost three months sits in awe of ash tree dropping what is almost like petals around her. One falls on her face and she almost doesn't seem to mind. Curiosity in her eyes, and wonderment. <br /><br />You just sit in awe of Gods goodness as you watch these children play and how the weather demands you be still and take it in. These children who are such individuals who will never fit into any mold we would try to fit them into because they were handcrafted so beautifully. To sit back and wonder who they will become as they become adults is mind boggling. <br /><br />The tree's highlights reflect on all that come into their midst and you are clothed in their colour.<br /><br />And the repetitive combing through hair does not seem like a hindrance because its in a day like this its obvious to see that God is good. His creation hinting at how glorious it will be when Christ restores all goodness. <br /><br />Its a taste of bliss and its not far to find when eye lids are opened. <br />Blankets are laid out on the grass hidden and taken back into the house, leaves dance across the carpet and remind us that His goodness can be carried anywhere because He is in us. <br /><br />And even though the day was long and daily tasks on hold it was so good. All is well because He is good. </span><br />
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<a alt="”Unveiled" blog="blog" community="community" encouragement="encouragement" for="for" help="help" href="http://www.blogger.com/%E2%80%9Dhttp://unveiledwife.com/starting-new-wont-fix-the-issue-it-will-just-replace-it-link-up-party%E2%80%9D" target="”_blank”" title="”Unveiled" wife="wife" wives="wives"><img src="”http://d10jft0zf2grgj.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Unveiled-Wife.jpg”" /></a>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-26494442277624190552012-10-19T08:28:00.002-04:002012-10-19T08:28:30.277-04:00Its all bullying no matter how you look at it.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This will most likley come off sounding condeming or rude and finger pointing but its really bugging me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In light of suicide caused by bullying, Amanda Todd has made the country talk. People are standing up and police are cracking down on people who like to pray on people verbally and physically.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">However, it doesn't stop here. Way too often I have noticed how careless we can be not even 24 hours after we hashtag #stopbullying or share a young girls last words on YouTube, sharing our discust with the people who tore her down. Then we turn around post passive aggressive or just plain aggressive posts about our political leaders, wifes, ex-wives, husbands, ex-husbands, friends, family, neighbors. Now I know families, friends, teachers, kids, neighborhoods and politics (politicians get a lot of negativity these days) can be difficult and full of all sorts of not so nice things... But do you honestly think it helps to bash them constantly? Is this not bullying too? Do I need to go on? Is this not all bullying? Yes everyone is entitled to their opinions and yes people can make us angry or frustrated. But to belittle and bash is seriously not going to make it better. Society rips people who displease them a new one and then cry out because a girl killed herself because of bullying...come on now tell me how this makes sense? Its all the same. I do not care if these people being bashed ever see what is being said or not, others do and it sets forth more negativity into this world and haven't we had enough? </span><br />
Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-4777513092327576892012-10-11T11:37:00.002-04:002012-10-11T11:37:16.301-04:00My consistent in my inconsistency<span style="font-size: large;">I have noticed that there is a constant way of doing in my life that has been sorta scattered. Let me try to explain this with my brain turning a zillion miles a minute. I was dwelling on this last night in the quiet that was not so quiet and I noticed as I tried to begin a new knitting project that I unraveled because I was already bored with it that I rarely finish things. <br />As a child when I would play Barbies or games with my friends that I would want to dwell on the one situation. Replay the same scenario in our game over and over again, because it was climatic or interesting and fun. I don't know how many story lines were finished, or even more events had in the tale I was creating.<br />I love to knit, I love to crochet. However large projects take years to complete. I know this is the case for a lot of people... simply because its busy these days and most people just really don't have the time. However I do believe there is enough time in my evenings to get something accomplished sooner than two/three years later. <br />I get notions that are notions and never become reality. <br />We live in such a chaotic society if you think about it. My evenings alone can consist of a dozen things going on at once. I live on information overload. <br /><br />I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day and the words were "<b>You're just inconsistant. Thats just how God made you to be."</b></span><div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b>Those words <i>hurt</i>. If this is how God made me to be then why do I feel bad about it? Does everyone really look at me as inconsistent?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Labels started to circle through my head. You know when the enemy of your own mind begins to remind you of all that is wrong with yourself. And I know I'm not here to please people but please Him. I wont label them here because this blog post isn't for a pity party. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">These are just the thoughts that came together in the shower. <br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was reminded of this quote I found on Pinterest (on one of my overload evenings to be exact)<i> "Labels are awful. They imprison us in categories that are hard to escape. Those labels start out as little threads of self-dissatisfaction but ultimately weave together into a straitjacket of self-condemnation. LABELS ONLY STICK IF I LET THEM. Lysa TerKeurst in her book Unglued.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">God reminded me of the fact that there is one constant thought that runs through my brain. That is Jesus. I have had people say to me "You love Jesus too much." or "You talk too much Jesus." I know I think a lot of Jesus. Not even full thoughts sometimes.. its not like I'm replaying Bible truths through my head.. just His name is there. His presence.<br /><br />Jesus.<br /><br />He is my consistent in the chaos. Sometimes I want to dwell on a high moment of this consistency, but have learned there are many many high moments with Him that I continue to let Him write my story and follow Him. Sometimes I have tried to run ahead of Him in the story only to find I get into a mess. I have even tried to ignore this constant Christ and loose Him as my filter for the day and just live "fleshy" for a few moments..or a whole day... but HE is still on my mind. The thought of His love and His kindness and His goodness is still there.<br /><br />Jesus. <br /><br />I can barley get though a knitting pattern these days. I get to about row 4 or 5 and I begin to get bored. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />The pattern of God in my mind is just one line that repeats. <br /><br />Jesus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Its the line I can repeat over and over and over again and the pattern will always be good, and different. Knitting a life and a journey. I continue this pattern because I know when I "bind off" in the end, this one part of my life, is the only one that will satisfy for eternity. <br /><br />While I know I need to be able to accomplish important things in life that God has placed in my life for me to do, following His path for me and staying focused, there are so many things in life that I am so inconsistent with but I wonder now if that't because Holy Spirit is simply trying to get me away from it all in moments when He has something for me to be doing- even if its just something as simple as being still... I could use some more still. <br /></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">To have that one consistent thought -Jesus- not weaving through the chaos, but the chaos turning to peace and weaving through Him.</span></b><br /></div>
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Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-2504433586361669122012-09-26T18:29:00.000-04:002012-09-26T18:42:59.441-04:00where my "annoyances" come from The past few weeks I have really started to process my roll as a wife and a mother to my children and started to try and renew my focus in these areas. I never gave up on this roll in the past 8 years but sometimes I think my focus shifts from everyone else to myself quick and I think with the birth of our fourth two months ago it really once again put my roll back into perspective. I really feel God has called me and placed this desire in my heart to do. <br />
I am not a perfect mother or a perfect wife. But God has reminded me daily that while He doesn't call me to be a perfect Mom or wife, He has placed this calling on my life and will walk me through each step of the way.<br />
I begin putting purpose in each step of my day. Waking up before the kids to have time with the Lord, even if right now that looks like using my Bible on my phone, light dimmed while I nurse our baby, because at six am our five year old is up and ready to go. It reminds me of Mark 1:35-37 <b>"While it was still night, way before dawn, He (Jesus) got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed. Simon and those with Him went looking for Him. They found Him and said "everybody is looking for you."</b><br />
That's TOTALLY how my mornings go. They peek in my room and find me and for the next 13 hours I try to be theirs and my husbands. <br />
I find there is an annoyance though, but it is one that I have conjured up myself. I annoy myself. How many times do I tell my husband I want to be the one who takes care of the things of the house, so he can rest when he is not out working to provide the money for our home. I tell him that's his job, and this is my job. But when I begin to feel tired and worn out, or I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or don't want to do my job do I feel restless, impatient and downright nasty. I begin to have arguments in my head with my husband of how he doesn't "do anything" around the house (which is a bold faced lie because he does, just not at that moment when I'm having this argument with him mentally). The dishes begin to get really loud as I put them away in the kitchen and the garbage is FLUNG into the can outside. The laundry which hasn't been magically folded because someone hasn't done it for me even though I haven't even hinted at asking begins to laugh at me all piled and wrinkled. I begin to resent him when he is checking updates on twitter or on the news because "he is just doing that way to much today" (even though I did it the day before constantly and that day as well.). When the convictions I feel about myself I feel he should automatically have too ;)<br />
My kids have bad days. My daughter is 8 going on 18... its a battle some days in this house and I am supposed to show them Christ and also discipline without myself going postal. <br />
It takes a lot of patience not to yell and scream on days where we are all over tired or over selfish. <br />
It takes a lot of patience not to yell and scream on the days where I have my stuff together but no one else does.<br />
It takes a lot of patience not to yell and scream on the days where they all have it together but I don't. <br />
But God is there in the midst and it takes a lot of grace to get through a day and He is more than willing to provide it when I humble myself and admit "Hey, no one in this house is perfect" and ask Him to lead the way. We have a sign above our kitchen counter that reads "Jesus reigns in this place". <br />
I wake up and as I'm preparing lunches and breakfast and nursing a baby in a sling, I see this and I have to remember that its not anyone else but Him that can really run this place at a pace and a rhythm that will work for all of us. That when I have to remember to align myself with His purpose for me, He literally helps. Some people don't get it but I guess unless you have literally experienced His presence..that knowing His Spirit is guiding you, I guess its hard to understand. <br />
I have had to lay myself down and pick up the fruits of His Spirit. <br />
I do get rest. He does give me rest. I don't have to demand it. There are days I want to sit down and all day play on Facebook and to be honest there have been two of those days this week. I don't want to come off sounding like a hypocrite. Its in those days I am most on edge. As if there are dishes again, as if there is a potty to be emptied. I have demanded time for myself that hasn't in a sense been given to me for myself. Everyday there are moments of rest that unselfishly present them self from God, and I give thanks to God for them. Those moments are not always after the kids go to bed, but generally speaking they are. It is in the days where everything has gotten done because we have worked on the Lords timetable and not our own and its on those days I have said "it is well" at the end. <br />
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Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-37070628069845378562012-09-15T16:08:00.001-04:002012-09-15T16:08:12.448-04:00When we are not out of the woods yet...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">There is a saying that popped up on a feed today on social media about an event in ones life that is so hard and rough and dark that all they could mutter was that they needed more prayers because "we're not out of the woods yet."<br /><br />How dark and scary this place can be, when all seems to fall apart. Where it seems the path that started turns into potholes and weeds so thick you can not longer find your footing.<br /><br />How the tree roots seem to be almost rotting and you don't know how you can stay grounded and all you can do is literally push through the day at full force to exhaust yourself or give into the darkness and fall down a rabbit hole and succumb to all that's eating you alive.<br /><br />But in order for us to know there is such a think as darkness we need to remember there is also such a thing as light. Light can be beautiful. There is always always light if there is darkness. You cannot have understanding of one if you don't have anything to compare it too. <br /><br />I write this while I'm in a time where I am embracing Light, and when I say that I mean Christ. When I am on such a high of His light and His love that its hard to try and write about darkness and what it feels like when all I can feel is Light. Where my footing feels lighter and more deliberate if that makes sense. Like walking on a cloud. But I have been in that forest of darkness and as time passes we go through cycles of it again and again. <br /><br />There is light in that darkness. High above those twisted canopies, hiding in nooks and crannies where the light has penetrated through the trunks that grow tall. Where that woods can feel like a prison, but I think of how those prison windows even show a shadow of the bars along the floor from light. <br /><br />There is light. In times where we want to so desperately feel its warmth sometimes we have to start digging or running or chasing. To not give up and fight for it because it can be robbed from us so quick.<br /><br />His light is ever present in times of trouble. He never leaves or forsakes us. The light of Christ radiates from within us... and its the most easily accessible but most often forgotten.<br />Be still and know that He is there. <br />Be still and know that the woods have an exit<br />Be still and know that He is God and He loves you. <br />Shine your light and let the whole world see....</span><br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-69971070015987293592012-09-12T18:21:00.003-04:002012-09-12T18:21:56.010-04:00Multitudes of Gifts 460-491<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">The atmosphere turns to misty breaths and sweaters are unfolded onto wee children as the sunrises and breakfast is created in a warm kitchen. Warm coffee pours into deep mugs and sweetened with sugar and a laugh. Autumn comes calling and children stuff backpacks with new shoes and lunches. Each moment is a gift. Some seen obvious and some you have to peel through some curiosity first. My multitude of gifts continues a few days late but never the less is present each day<br /><br />460- back to school for two children<br />461- new bus service<br />462- children trying to see their breath out in the cool of the morning<br />463- fog so thick around tree trunks<br />464- crochet completed, fall hats created<br />465- 8th birthdays celebrated<br />466- Gods reminder of trust in finances<br />467- six weeks old at 9 lbs 9 oz<br />468- warmer baby wraps pulled from closets<br />467- baby booties knitted and worn<br />468- handmedown powerwheels, a three year old smiles<br />469- making first ever <a href="http://gingerbreadbagels.com/2010/10/01/pumpkin-cinnamon-rolls/">pumpkin cinnamon rolls. </a><br />470- <a href="http://gingerbreadbagels.com/cream-cheese-frosting-recipe/">cream cheese icing </a><br />471- <a href="http://www.loveveggiesandyoga.com/2011/09/pumpkin-spice-latte.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LoveVeggiesAndYoga+%28Love+Veggies+and+Yoga%29">pumpkin spice lattes</a>...<br />472- ...everything pumpkin<br />473- cloth diapers so flouresent they make her legs glow LOL<br />474- a visit with my brother and sister in law.<br />475- Western Fair. <br />476- roller coasters<br />477- cotton candy<br />478- coffee houses</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-ka67TcZsxLRN-YAVOXxc5xwchMpNNeyp9JFJTauPv69xuJYYwDjUc_FYJ63gW3PkkIsXhH49HvpgUUMBJDSKalkroFQV91W6yD8ox52-6Kt8kuOnQ1K_TJ3BgBJie3awkqogEkLG9xv/s1600/392056_10151132355318186_754752269_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">479- late night prayer<br />480- praying for a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SupportBabyEastonFriedel">baby far away</a>. heart breaking, hope rising, God working<br />481- rainbows over fun<br />482- final midwife appts, bittersweet and had to hold back tears as I boarded the bus home after saying goodbye<br />483- scented erasers- fascinated children<br />484- sunlight beaming through lace curtains. Joy dancing through rays<br />485- "my pork chops not working"- Zayden<br />486- "I cant make water"- Zayden<br />488- long jeans skirts<br />489- Kisses from children<br />490- husbands hard work<br />491- a three year olds determination... while frustrating you gotta admit..could prove useful someday ;) </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/annvoskamp/multitudesonmondaysbutton2-1.jpg" /></a>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-90755319714959881102012-09-04T14:52:00.005-04:002012-09-12T17:55:30.646-04:00Photoshopping Jesus<span style="font-size: large;">Today my husband showed me a picture on the computer of something that was outstanding, but most likely "Photoshopped". I cant see in any way shape or form how it could be real. <br /><br />A few moments before that I had read in 1 John 2:27... and I wondered that during my journey if I have tried to "Photoshop Jesus"...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />A few days ago I wrote <a href="http://barefootwithjesus.blogspot.ca/2012/08/he-is-embracing-his-walk-with-you.html">here</a> how I could not fully explain how I work this life with Jesus out. How I cant say I conform or fit in with a perfect set of whatever's. How we need to seek Him and if we didn't know how that we should pray. He will teach us. How I found beauty in a lot of the different ways denominations of various kinds seek Christ and create that relationship with Him. <br /><br />Lately I have<a href="http://barefootwithjesus.blogspot.ca/2012/08/when-autumn-comes-early-and-confusion.html"> shared</a> what seems to be a yearly occurrance about my yearly Autumn struggle to understand God. How during this time of seeking all over the place, some places good some bad. Some over and over again. Christ always draws me in close to Him and I regain my center. <br /><br />1 John 2:27 says in the Message version in which I read it in<br /><i> I've written to warn you about those who are trying to deceive you. But they're no match for what is embedded deeply within you—Christ's anointing, no less! You don't need any of their so-called teaching. Christ's anointing teaches you the truth on everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie. Live deeply in what you were taught.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Who was John talking about? Who are these decievers? It's a big scary word and its the anti-Christ. I used to always put this word in line with Revelations but it is so much more than that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When you back up in 1 John, chapter 2 verses 18-23 (NASB) says<br /><i>Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us. But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you all know. I have not written to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it, and because no lie is of the truth. Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son. Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am so much more and more and much more convinced over these past few weeks and months and years of seeking Christ, learning all avenues and crevases of human creativity that what it absolutely has to come down to is the truth of Christ. As I searched and venture I have always come across things that I would absolutely love and adore to place into how I want to carry out my journey with the Lord, but those things ultimately say something to me that the Holy Spirit tells me to run far from. There are other things that do align themselves with Christ and I embrace. How important it is for me to remember as one who have a relationship with Christ is that He has given me His Spirit to guide me, and its so important that I spend time understanding what His voice sounds like and to really listen to Him, and to teach my children the same. I don't ever want to Photoshop Jesus, to edit Him or parts of Him out so that He better suits something that I know doesn't fit. How can His light fully shine to me and through me if I were to do this? What parts of what He wants to share with me would I miss out on if I did this? His truth wont change if I change it. He is who He says He is, was and will forever be. <br /><br />I sit here today just reaffirming to myself in blog form that Holy Spirit needs to be acknowledged and listened too with a very open ear. Christ's message of love and hope must be forever clung too and being His hands and feet are essential in walking with Him. </span><br />
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<br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-72804614423120560932012-08-30T22:04:00.002-04:002012-08-30T22:24:21.007-04:00He is embracing His walk with you. <br />
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“Do not say that it is impossible to receive the Spirit of God. Do not say that it is possible to be made whole without Him. Do not say that one can possess Him without knowing it. Do not say that God does not manifest Himself to man. Do not say that men cannot perceive the divine light, or that it is impossible in this age! Never is it found to be impossible, my friends. On the contrary, it is entirely possible when one desires it” (Hymn 27, 125-132)</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have searched for God while He has guided me. I trust Him to show me when things are right and when things are wrong. I have felt awakened by God but it doesn't mean I don't go through times of not so much doubt, but desiring and craving more. Where what I have is not enough. Christ is enough, but to desire Him more closely. If Jesus was a drug I most certainly am addicted. I have opened my mind to others opinions on Him. I have read every red letter in my Bible, I have read countless of peoples desire to be closer to Him. I have read the gnostic writings (although I didn't agree with a lot of them but still gained an understanding on what they believe and could probably carry a conversation with one who believes this way now). I have tried to gain and understanding of Him through the eyes of so many. In the end it is Him that satisfies my soul. He pours out His love and I can say it is well. He always just brings me to Himself. All the knowledge in the world, will never amount to knowing Him personally. <br /><br />When I have a question about God, I seek Him more. I seek Him in the strangest of places. He is always waiting for me there.<br /><br />I couldn't write out my theory of how to approach God, or what my firm beliefs on how to interpret the Bible are. I desire to understand Hebrew and Greek. Its on my bucket list. I am fascinated with the studies of original writings. I find the language to be beautiful and I respect it highly. I cannot identify myself in a certain denomination or non denomination of Christians. I see beauty in all of the churches. I find absolute beauty in the tradition of the Catholic church, the knowledge and understanding of Scripture from the Baptists I have been in fellowship with. I find such awe of the love for Christ that the Christian Mystics have, I have a deep understanding towards the gatherings of Christians who meet in their homes, in their backyards, in their gardens. Holy Spirit guiding in many forms to bring us closer to Jesus Christ our God.<br /><br />I keep most of my study time with God to myself. I am afraid to share a lot of the times what I search and discover, what I find truth in. I don't think anything that I find to go against Christian beliefs, but I guess my fear of man still hasn't fully vacated this vessel. All I know that the more I peel apart and the more I seek the more I love God. I sometimes share the end result, but the way I come to the end result during these times of picking apart the entire universe I think I sometimes hide. I have shared before, and been put down because how I interpreted a moment in my walk with Christ was not how someone has interpreted or known as okay... does this make sense? Has anyone else had this happen? I have been terrified to experience God in certain ways because I have been afraid of what people think... <br /><br />But I question that tonight because if how we have discovered or how Christ has shared something with us is hidden, someone else who is seeking Christ the same way might be afraid to share as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Where am I going with this... I honestly am not really sure, this is probably going to be a lot of rambling. Just my heart tonight. .. had a bad day and in the end realized going to God with it at probably around five would have been a lot better than at 9... when I pour out my heart finally to Him and He pours His love out on me... after a few hours of complaining to the entire atmosphere that life totally has sucked today...<br /><br />Seeking Christ. ... I wanna scream dont let any man or woman tell you you are doing it wrong. Ofcourse there are teachers and pastors and leaders who can help guide you but always remember Jesus said HE is the way... so seek Him. Seek the Kingdom of God... seek His opinion. Call upon His Spirit. Holy Spirit will guide you through a whirlwind of awesomeness. Don`t let people take your testimony of what He shows you. Get into the Bible, get Him to open it up to you to more than just a old book with stories in it. Before the Bible was so boring to me, now words jump off the pages. Dont expect your friends who aren`t following God to understand either. They are going to think you are nuts. Let them, and pray that God will open their eyes too. And Thank God everyday for what He shows you. When a scripture pops up and says just what you needed to hear thank and praise Him. When you feel His presence while listening to a song, thank Him. When (this ones for me) you feel the most amazing breeze hit your face just right and you just feel such a peace thank Him. When someone speaks words of life to you, and prays with you, and shares their testimony with you, thank Him. <br /><br />Embrace your walk with Him because He is embracing His walk with you. <br /><br />He is loving when you have your ``ah ha`moments about Him. He probably laughs right along with you and says `I KNEW she`d love that!` He loves when we come to Him with our stuff. He loves to love on you.<br /><br />God longs to just love on you and teach you things and show you things and make you smile. He does take us through the valleys but remember during those times He is still there and He still encourages and loves on us (even when you wanna pull your hair out.)<br /><br />And if you don`t know how.. pray... that is the `how` I think. Call out to Christ. Seek and you shall find... </span><br />
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<br />Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-54613184901654809812012-08-24T22:08:00.002-04:002012-08-24T22:12:55.964-04:00When Autumn comes early and confusion turns to joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My autumn came earlier this year. Not the season, but autumn for me is a time I thought has always been a time of confusion spiritually. Its when I yearn to feel God strongest yet always feel a struggle to make things I wanna make work work. The first evening that the breeze felt cool and I poured tea instead of something cold, I began to feel a pull. I always come out of the journeys closer to God, but the journeys themselves are something I struggle to embrace because they are hard. They cause me to question, they cause me to seek hard and press in strong. I'm glad God presses in hard too. <br />
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At three am when struggling to stay awake while feeding the baby, there is the Word calling out. I have read so many different parts of Gods word in the past few weeks in the weirdest hours of the night than I think I ever have. While the newest babe of only three weeks nursed contently I was in proverbs, John, Genesis, Job, Luke, Isaiah... I was everywhere. I downloaded a concordance for my phone. I find myself learning Hebrew meanings while the sun is peeking out over the horizon and the Son is rising up inside...<br />
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<b>Wisdom.</b>.. that one word... <i>chokmah, sophia, </i>took me on the most massive journey this past 72 hrs... He gave me one word, it turns into a whirlwind and then a calm.<br />
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I went all over the place. The internet can be a very helpful tool or a very huge danger zone for anything. I opened my eyes and I took Gods hand and I feared and I cried, I giggled, I anticipated, and I just knew God was taking me somewhere. I've always said "Just trust Him for even a day and see what He does." Christ is <i>phenominal</i>. I'd read some things and then get back into Scripture, I'd get into the Hebrew and the Greek, I would pray... <i><b>oh how I prayed-</b></i> Holy Spirit guide me and don't let me go- I learned... a <i>LOT</i>. I learned from many perspectives, and while I fear this, I still felt Gods comfort and His gentle guidance. I discovered, I unraveled, I embraced, I let go.. I sought. I asked many friends questions via text, phone, random moments. I hit up Google and Wiki and was in the Bible like I probably should be everyday. <br />
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I learned things I dismissed and picked up treasures from Christ that I have treasured now deep inside. There were nail biting reads, there were sighs of relief, there was history, culture, language, physics, mathematics, colours, spirals, pauses, reflection, love, strength, singing, worship, fear, knowledge...<br />
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I regained the wisdom in knowing the one thing I now know I once again needed to understand and grab hold of-<br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Christ is huge.</span></i></b><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">And He Himself existed before all things, and in Him all things consist (cohere, are held together)- Colossians 1:17 amplified.</span></i></div>
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I struggle every year because its this time of year I feel a presence of divinity in nature. I struggle because I have feared year after year that to feel His presence in the wind or to smell something Holy in the Autumn air is somehow horribly horribly wrong. That when it rains on an October morning and I feel a cleansing and a peace that I somehow am not following a Christian way. <br />
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Tonight I sit here with a tea and a smile and tears of thankfulness because after reading page after page after page I have that release from the Holy Spirit, one peice of Scripture to save my aching head to say that in Him, my Jesus, all things consist and are held together... everything. Its all about Him and its all through Him. This is something I knew but didn't...if that makes sense. When these emotions or feelings rise up and I feel joy, He's telling me I dont have to repress it because He created it all, for us, to enjoy and as creation all gives the glory to Him, so do I. Praising Him along with it all. <br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Job 38:5-7</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Who determined the measures of the earth, if you know? Or who stretched the measuring line upon it? <i></i></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><i>Upon what were the foundations of it fastened, or who laid its cornerstone, w</i></i><i><i>hen the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?</i></i></span></div>
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</i></i>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-21497841605441681782012-08-08T11:19:00.000-04:002012-08-08T11:19:09.227-04:00Three becomes four and the household shifts...<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Its been one week since Tehillah-Joy made her way out of my womb and into a warm pool of water in our dining room, surrounded by love and joy. I prayed for this little girl for a year before she was conceived, I prayed for her through the entire pregnancy, the ups and the downs. Surrounded by support and love, the frustrating times became easier and the joyful times were beautiful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Her relationship with me is one that requires warmth, security, protection and a breast. I cannot take my eyes off her, she has totally captivated me, and totally activated awe towards her small hands and feet. When they are that small, and so dependant on you, ones life becomes one easily sacrificed to tend to their every need. Through exhaustion that I cant even call exhaustion because its such a negative word.... I am tired, very tired, but its a tiredness I don't even think I can complain about today. Its a tiredness worth had because I spend the night cuddling a nursing one week old tiny girl and got up early to take our children to play at the park. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnVnWtP5uoXSx7ewyMKjau2tkhcnq5xrgayfoHwNsg7Ssp-CBeaDu2u26S6yEdrmxwBQ_L6dz9S7tALJNUDBhmZ5jbiEk-dUtd00ioBSBsPUHvpHq-CcvTmjBO9TByQcgPdCUozshe1UaU/s1600/page.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnVnWtP5uoXSx7ewyMKjau2tkhcnq5xrgayfoHwNsg7Ssp-CBeaDu2u26S6yEdrmxwBQ_L6dz9S7tALJNUDBhmZ5jbiEk-dUtd00ioBSBsPUHvpHq-CcvTmjBO9TByQcgPdCUozshe1UaU/s400/page.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">She is our fourth. And I feel this way towards all of them. When our three year old begins to do something hillarious (or something sneaky but with one eye brow raised) I cant help but feel so in love with that kid, even if it is something he does that is wrong. While he needs to be disciplined, afterwards one cant help but chuckle... sometimes from the fact that there is just nothing else you can do! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our five year old learned how to ride his bike without training wheels this week... on his own, without the help of my husband and I. Now he books it around the neighborhood, going over tree roots as jumps, a plastic bottle stuck in the back wheel so it sounds like a motor bike. The smile and determination in his face as he shares all he has done brings so much joy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our seven year old. What a help she has been since Tehillah-Joy came into our lives. She is very willing to help with her, and even more willing these days to help with her brothers which before was a bit of an eye roller for her. She loves to assist in the little things and it just seems she is growing up so fast before our eyes. Looking at her baby book the other day makes us realize just how far Alexis has come. Her love of Christ grows more and more, her questions and smiles make us proud parents. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are days I want to pull my hair out. There are nights where bedtime cannot come fast enough. But it doesn't matter. These four children still bring me so much joy. My patience gets better each day. I have said it before that I firmly believe God has put this calling of being a Mother and a wife and homemaker in my lap and while I may need a bit of help in the homemaking department I want to use these relationships in my life to glorify the Lord. He gave me these gifts. And they <i>are</i> gifts...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Psalm 127:3-5</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Message (MSG)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i> 3-5 Don't you see that children are God's best gift?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> Like a warrior's fistful of arrows</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> are the children of a vigorous youth.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> Oh, how blessed are you parents,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> with your quivers full of children!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Its almost as though this little girl has renewed that within me, within the entire household. A shift has clearly happened in our home. Things are much busier, more laundry (especially with cloth diapers!), less sleep, more cleaning... but it feels as though things are easier. Perhaps its because I am no longer hugely pregnant and running to the bathroom every ten minutes... whatever the reason I am so very thankful to God for blessing us with these beautiful children who I get the privilege of having a relationship with.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/annvoskamp/subalbumone/walkwithhimwednesdays2-1.jpg" /></a>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-10990432773085799462012-08-03T20:35:00.001-04:002012-08-03T20:35:41.349-04:00Tehillah-Joy- Birth Story- August 1st 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">She is finally here. Fearfully and wonderfully made, and so wonderful.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This pregnancy was different. Her birth was as well different from her three siblings. I promised so many people her birth story so I figure this is a good of way as any. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">July 28th I woke up and knew my body was preparing for birth. I also had mild contractions during the day and night, so much that on the 29th at around 3:30 in the morning I was begging my husband not to go to work. He assured me that he'd be back long before anything would happen as he was only going in for a few hours. Sure enough he was right, the contractions eventually stopped and I was able to sleep. However the next night again they began to pick up. These were not braxton hicks, these were painful.. and again I figured this was it. I spent most the night sitting on a birthing ball doing hip circles. They were seven minutes apart for the most part, then spread to 15 and eventually again stopped. I was beginning to now see a trend I wasn't overly pleased with. Two nights of no sleep and I was starting to get a bit worn out. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On the 31st I paged my midwife and her and my secondary were both unavailable due to other child births. I spoke with another midwife who I explained my exhaustion and how my labour seemed to be starting and stalling and I was wondering if Tehillah's positioning was off. She told me to come in and be checked. I was 2 cm's dialated...and I was a bit discouraged. Baby was fine and I was fine, I was ordered to go home and sleep so I did and when I woke up I felt much more refreshed and not so emotional. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On the 1st of August I went to see my midwife at 10:30, and sure enough she checked Tehillah's positioning and she was a bit curved. I was up again that night with contractions and when she checked me I was 3cm's. She asked me if I wanted a sweep to see if things would jump start again. I never was so excited to hear that question. I came home and my friend Carly and I went for a huge walk that I think took about 45 minutes to complete, out on the bike paths and streets in our neighbourhood. I had a few twinges and such but no contractions. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi974ReJ82txx-j11aQJg9F8ZSkuEdbShECnVc9KdqjKPZv-NGcqyYulVZYrp0jcmeG_dw5eRJHm-dMl_1fdESaussGtyursFOjbdcHz3IBwr1lUDmY_7YGs6jIvAAOKFk6fXE-ZaNypM7j/s1600/page.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi974ReJ82txx-j11aQJg9F8ZSkuEdbShECnVc9KdqjKPZv-NGcqyYulVZYrp0jcmeG_dw5eRJHm-dMl_1fdESaussGtyursFOjbdcHz3IBwr1lUDmY_7YGs6jIvAAOKFk6fXE-ZaNypM7j/s400/page.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">At about 2:30 pm I started to notice contractions and while they were much like the ones before I kept telling myself this was it and started to walk around the house trying to keep vertical. I washed the dishes and tidied, and at about 3pm I started to realize that the contractions were rather close together so I figured I best time them. They were about 5-6 minutes apart and I decided to text my friend Dawn who was going to come be my doula/support for the labour and birth. It was funny because I texted her "don't go to Toronto any time soon" as a joke, and it turns out she was leaving for Toronto the next day. I also had my husband call his Dad and step Mom to pick up our boys who were not interested on being at the birth. They came within the half hour to pick them up for the night. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dawn showed up as well and the contractions were still the same. I had to breathe through them, but I could laugh and joke, so I had not really thought of talking to my midwife at all yet. At 3:45 I had two contractions that were 7 minutes apart and I started to get a bit doubtful. Were they going to go away again? Then they jumped to 3-4 minutes apart and I remember leaning over our computer desk timing them on my phone and after each one I would say "Im paging Sarah" (my midwife). But after it was over I would say that I'd wait and see. At about a quarter to five I told my husband and Dawn I wanted into the pool and they began to fill it up. My daughter took pictures and was very excited. I then paged Sarah at about five to five and she said she'd make a few phone calls then be on her way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When she got here I was in the tub focusing on breathing. Im not sure what time she arrived but when she checked my cervix I was at 5cm. I was still able to talk and chat between without much fear of the next one. She began to bring in the gear and see who was going to be my secondary midwife since my secondary was unable to come. Turns out Annette who was the midwife I had seen the day before was on her way along with a student midwife also named Sarah. They were all wonderful. When they got to our house it was about ten after seven. I don't know if at this point or not I was getting into more serious business, I know there came a point where I didnt know who was coming and going. My Mother in Law and Pat had arrived, my friend Carly was there as well. My daughter had gone outside at this point for a bit as seeing me in pain was something she needed a break from. It was also around this point the ice cream truck came by playing its ice cream truck music and I said a few choice words about its timing ;) Very annoying to hear Pop Goes the Weasle when you are in labour. The contractions were hurting so bad and I wasn't sure what position I wanted to be in so I tried a few, and I made more noise then any of my other births. I think I probably frightened the neighbours. But it felt so good!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">At about 8pm my midwife asked if I wanted to have my water broken or not since I had with the other ones. I decided I would have it done since I knew it can help it go faster and at this point I just wanted it to be over (Between arguing in my head to go to the hospital and "get the darn drugs" and begging God to just take the pain away because He is fully capable I was not a happy camper) apparently I have very strong membranes and we were not sure she even broke them. I felt pressure and I wanted to push, so I did small pushes with contractions and grunts. I dont know how often I opened my eyes, answered anyone's questions. I remember Dawn applying a cold cloth to my head and telling me to drink. I remember hearing people telling me I was doing an amazing job and I remember hearing something about banana bread. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">At 8:20 my midwife asked me if she could check me again to see how close I was to being 10cm's. She checked me and told me there was just a bit of cervix covering the path and at 8:25 I think she helped move it. I'm not sure. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWZA8XCXZEXrkDWZ9JDAEM3g1xYt42FE7bQoQfavvZFA6XerOcYokErSUTXlb85dhq-kgwyvVN4gXVr74yN92SFF0M7cKusdyJXU0xVF1KzOP1VCKjxQuqstNoWlOtGV5CknXd5HRzVUF/s1600/page2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWZA8XCXZEXrkDWZ9JDAEM3g1xYt42FE7bQoQfavvZFA6XerOcYokErSUTXlb85dhq-kgwyvVN4gXVr74yN92SFF0M7cKusdyJXU0xVF1KzOP1VCKjxQuqstNoWlOtGV5CknXd5HRzVUF/s400/page2.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">With that it was on. I felt the burn and I felt her come down fast and I thought "oh great how long do I have to deal with the burning ring of fire for. I forgot how much this stings!!!" Then all of a sudden her head came out. I was told to stop pushing so the baby's body could be rotated just a touch and out popped Tehillah-Joy at 8:26. She floated into the water and I remember seeing her big eyes looking as she was brought up out of the water and onto my chest. She didn't cry but was so observant. She was so calm. They rubbed her a bit and she made some noise but was quite calm. She was little compared to our others who were 9lbs-10lbs. When the weighed her she came in at 7lbs 12 oz! I guess London Ontario water is not as fattening as Ottawa Valley water! ;)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Things with four children is pretty fun. Besides the hormone change and a bit of breastfeeding trouble we have been adjusting very well. She looks so much like our son Tayven when he was a baby and he is very proud of this. He has been telling us that she "looks just like me." Zayden keeps rubbing her head and telling us she is "so ute!" (cute). Alexis loves her little sister and holds her lots and lots. Tehillah really likes to be held by her too and cuddles in. It really makes Alexis feel special. Today we got to wrap her up and take her for her first babywearing adventure. We only went to the corner store and back but you have no idea how wonderful it is to be babywearing again! So thrilled. Dylan is such a proud Daddy, taking pictures of her on his phone all the time, holding her and talking to her about life. Its so amazing. God really blessed us with four amazing children. I cannot thank Him enough. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzrRHi1S8gjVASII_tVq5o1536kHP9ROyevVN8dLyVfwAX1doByAfT1CEppDnUUY9Q7Qr_9WG1oj4GQO0nHL5wufI950d9s6zYAlcDFv5D6da7zgUjb95rfEy0NvlX4jUnh-PMnhoEc78I/s1600/page4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></a>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-66432710068711972632012-07-18T20:33:00.001-04:002012-07-18T20:33:59.277-04:00Awaiting and A Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">We have two weeks to go till my due date. I'm 38 weeks today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While last week my mind was filled with anxiousness, tiredness and even just days ago I could honestly say "I'm done being pregnant."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today I woke up with a peace. I'm still a sweaty hot mess, 213 pounds of pregnant hormones, I felt God's presence telling me I need to be patient. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I thought back to my other labors... trying to prepare. I honestly do not remember how it felt. I know I was in pain... but I cant remember the pains intensity anymore. God assures me this is a good sign. I can do it again. I remember my pregnancy woes way more than my labor woes. I am the type of person who would rather deliver a baby weekly than carry nine months that's for sure. But God also assures me that I made it with the other children who were all late, I will make it this time too, late or not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We tested and timed the pumping and filling of the "lobster shark pool" as its been named in our house for the water birth I hope to have. 20 minutes from deflated to "climb in and try and relax". My youngest boy watched as we filled it up and asked me if I wanted to play with toys in there. "Baby out today?" I assured him no, but he wasn't satisfied with that so I told him it was just too hot (It was 47 C with the humidity). That seemed to work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know God is going to be my comfort during this labor... and that has to as well mean the days up to the big day. I have to trust His timing in it. With my other pregnancies I remember doing the evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea etc to try and make sure my kids came on time (two were around 10 days late). This time while the temptation is there, I keep saying "no" because I really want God to have all the control in this. I wonder if I will have that kind of self control if she decides to come late? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tonight as I was cleaning up the kitchen I was having mild contractions, something I'm accustomed too, been having them for weeks. But for the first time I thought "How wonderful of God to give us signs that birth is coming"... maybe not within the next few days, or weeks even, but that its coming. That my body is preparing for our fourth child's arrival. A woman's body does wild things in preparation for childbirth, aches and pains and hormonal messes, but they are truly all signs that my body is doing something extra ordinary. It is a blessing to be able to carry a child and also to deliver..no matter how it looks. I think now too, that each contraction, regardless if it is "practice" or not, is a chance to focus on God and pray. That each day that passes and I don't give birth, is a chance to trust once again in Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have an amazing support system, and I am thankful for all the prayers and spiritual advice I have received. Constant reminders that the Great I Am is on my side. That I just have to keep focused on Him because He will do what is best... and when I have a hormonal meltdown perhaps within the next few days... refer me to this blog please! HA HA HA!</span>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1562864865446603326.post-91458010946476366692012-07-18T11:02:00.001-04:002012-07-18T20:38:15.597-04:00Embracing Jesus - Cleansing the Temple John 2:13-25<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white;">The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; and to those who were selling the doves He said, “Take these things away; stop making My Father’s house a place of business.” His disciples remembered that it was written, “ Zeal for Your house will consume me.” The Jews then said to Him, “ What sign do You show us as your authority for doing these things?” Jesus answered them, “ Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” The Jews then said, “It took forty-six years to build this temple, and will You raise it up in three days?” But He was speaking of the temple of His body. So when He was raised from the dead, His disciples remembered that He said this; and they believed the Scripture and the word which Jesus had spoken.</b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;">Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name, observing His signs which He was doing. But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to testify concerning man, for He Himself knew what was in man. John 2:13-25<br /><br />I chewed on this for a long time. My initial impressions of this passage were rather negative in regards to our churches today and I wasn't sure I agreed with what I was first feeling, so I let it be as I promised myself I would and waited till I was sure. <br />There are a lot of churches that are taking this passage seriously in my eyes. There are a lot of churches that are not using their buildings as a place of business but a place of Christ. We are the church and our bodies are His temple. The buildings the body of Christ fellowships in are being used to reach out to their communities, to the lost, those who need help. They are not interested on what they look like on the inside, they spend little on appearance and pump out what is brought in to help those who truly need it. We cannot use our churches as a place of personal gain, and I honestly haven't been in a church that has. Praise God. <br /><br />When Jesus is showing His authority all I can think of in this instance is "truth". Jesus always does what He says He is going to do. He was talking about His body being raised up in three days... and it happened. </b>Candace Novakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13872745391134995655noreply@blogger.com0