1000 gifts for 2013. Yes please

Last year was crazy.  2012 we saw impossible things happen, God move in His mighty ways, gentle ways, blunt ways... He's amazing. 

We started this year off rocky.  I'm going to really try to take the emphasis off me and put it on Him for the next year.  Our journeys with Christ are all so different.  He is going to take us all through some amazing things this year.  I want ALL the glory to be on Him.  Refreshed, jumping back into His springs of peace and joy and striving forward to make this year being in Him.  Never needing to call out loud for Him, just being still and knowing His Spirit is closer than I am to myself.  What an amazing God.
So I start refreshed, joining Ann and the many others counting to 1000 this year to our 1000 gifts.
Starting again at #1.  Gifts from the One.

1. long games of "war" with my daughter and husband.  Who knew a card game could go on for so long!
2. Cookie Monster songs with my 3 year old
3. An insane hunger for the words of Christ Himself.
4. Operating in the places God wants me to operate and doing it with His strength
5. Realizing just how insanely I need the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, words and thoughts,
6. Being tremendously honest with myself and others
7. Wrestling with the husband.  Laughing into hystarics
8. My son singing his version of Christmas songs
9. Our baby, sounding kinda like an excited dinosaur on the floor.  Learning to use her beautiful voice.  Children are such a gift
10.Not so perfect shots caught on camera.  Children who wont sit still.  Life constantly moving.  We can never capture it all
11. Cups of Chamomile tea with the kids at bedtime.  Quiet giggles
12. Stress... because it gives us an opportunity to fall into the arms of Love
13. ultrasounds from afar, watching a life within a life growing.
14. the messy amazing journey's God will take you on this year.
15. the messy amazing journey God will take me on this year
16. questions
17. letting the wee baby try some banana... nope not interested.
18. 2 Timothy 1:7-  needing a calm and well balanced mind- a goal for this year
19. triple rainbows in vivid dreams.  Scriptures given.
20 dance parties in the kitchen
21. new babies
22 Refusing to sing along, standing stubborn on a Sunday morning with so much anger.  God melting it allll away.  And just surrendering deep into Him
23. babies falling asleep on the floor.
24- butterscotch coffee.  Oh yes its happening
25- my oldest daughter mistaking pumpkin pie spice for cinnamon and making toast.  She says it was delicious
26- my three year old just making a sugar sandwich... that's not nutritious.
27- Baby trying so hard to be mobile.  She's figuring it out
28- Conversations about God with my husband.
29- Digging deeper

this baby...

God approaches when we don't expect.  He slips in in the tiniest of forms and yet is explosive, life transforming and amazing.  Indescribable is our King.

A Baby who came in, while Mothers cried for their sons, and Fathers grasped to understand.  A baby who came in while selfishness, greed, and hatred raged.  Love comes down and while its been said a million times, it will forever be said again and again.

No one knows how much He weighed but He would carry the weight of our sins on His shoulders.  It was finished before it started.

This baby who smelt like birth, fresh and new.  Mary breathed Him in as He was wrapped in cloth in the stink of her surroundings.  A new plan that was never new, it was decided upon before the first pages of the Bible said "In the beginning."   This baby,  who would raise with the scent of spikenard because before His hands would be pierced, His Spirit pierced the heart of a woman, and pierced the heart of all those so furious enough to have Him be nailed to a cross.

He touched every single person He came in contact with.  This King, came in the most humble way,  laid in a trough that was made of the very stones or branches He created, nursed by a woman He molded with His hands.

This King.  My Jesus.

Only He could consume the entire Universe with His presence, create billions of galaxies.  The mountains tremble and the oaks twist, and yet He became a cell and consumed a womb and burst forth for salvation for many.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Who I am...

My goal as this year is nearing an end I am spending it not in the Christmas story but in Ephesians Colossians and John.  I am in this space right now where Christ is so huge and so massive that I cannot just fit Him in a manger this year.  His glory is contained there yet He spills out.  I look at our nativity scene and that baby laying there is so big to me.
I started out in Ephesians and just started reading and not only am I reading about how amazing Jesus is, but the promises I have as His child.  I thought this was pretty cool.  Sometimes I feel I go through these phases where I don't quite understand it all but Ephesians makes it pretty clear to me what Christ has promised His children and even though I am not really blogging right now I wanted to post it because it is pretty amazing.  

Who we are in Christ

We are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, chosen in Him before the foundation of the world, predestined to adoption as a daughter (or son) by Jesus to Himself.  His Grace is what makes us accepted in the Beloved.  We are redeemed by His blood, forgiven by His Grace.  We have obtained an inheritance, predestined according to His purpose.  We are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise because we trusted Jesus who is the guarantee of our inheritance.  We are made alive in Him.  We can do NOTHING (emphasis added because I struggle with this one) to be saved it is a GIFT He has given.  We are His masterpiece created in Christ to do the good things God prepared beforehand for us to do.  We have Christ as our peace and we are united with Him.  The blood of Christ has brought us near.  Because of what Christ did we can come to the Father.  We are citizens along with all Gods people in Gods family.  We are a part of His house and Jesus Christ is the cornerstone.  We are carefully joined together in Him becoming a holy temple for the Lord.  We can come boldly and confidently into Gods presence.  Our roots with grow down deeper into Gods love and will continue to grow strong. We can experience the love of Christ even though it is too great to understand fully.  We are made complete with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.  We are part of a body and we each have our own special work.  We are His dear children.  We can come against evil because as one of Gods children we have access to His armor.  

Seep into Grace

When I seep into Grace, its like all my senses shift.  Its a perspective and a giving and an exhale...
Its one bath of waters I can sometimes forget to allow God to fill.
Boys fight over what colour of playdough belongs to them and I refuse to get out of the water.
I just finished reading Ann Voskamp's newest blog post and it reads Grace
My husband walks in with our oldest daughter, and he's playing loud rap music and its preaching the Gospel and the words I hear coming out are the feelings I steep my soul into.  Grace.
My husband leaves on missions in ten days and I pray Gods Grace.
As children act out of control after too much sugar and not enough calm.  I share Gods Grace as it pours out.
Overflow it into me God so it can pour out onto them.
Grace is where I hear Him.  Its where His voice is a whisper but its loudest for me.  Where my joy explodes and I feel at peace.
It leaves me with total respect, head over heels in love and fear of God.  He is so gracious.  I never want to misuse this Grace.  When I lay it down, all of it down and He pours out Grace brand new and it brings me back and I re-center.  A Mother works hard, and yet while a body aches from scrubbing baseboards and preparing for winter, a spirit can be at its most strength and most rest because of operating in Him and for Him.  Christ is my center.
Renewed. Refreshed.
Thank You Father for You're Grace.
Thank You for those who write continuously about Gods Grace.
Its timely, and a spot I wish to never move from.

They are a gift.

I sat on the bus.  Ear phones in quiet as Tehillah-Joy snuggled up wrapped on my chest under my coat.  I was off to visit a wonderful friend who is a 50 minute bus ride away.  

You can be filled with the knowing of Gods presence even on a busy city bus.  God can share and put pieces together while you are being still while out and about surrounded by busyness.

I looked down at this baby and she slept so sound.  The Kingdom belongs to little ones such as this.  Did she know God as He formed her? Did He speak her purpose over her and did she hear His voice whisper and declare it over her?  As I wondered these things, how she slept so calm during loud conversations, busy streets and all phones ringing, I remember how God calls us into His rest during chaos.  Our world is at fast pace.  His rest is vital for our survival.  Thoughts of how our purposes are plotted out and this chubby cheeked blessing quietly dreaming right under my chin is part of mine as well as the ones at school and at home with Dad.

Its like God in a moment of pause drops the book of purposes for my life down in front of me and the page that flips open is their names and my heart pounds and along with it is a bit of anxiety creeping in.

I text my husband

"Have you ever been reminded of a purpose God has for your life and its from a slightly different angle and you realize that this job you have while some view as not enough for the Kingdom is so so vital?"

It was like God showed me:

You need to train up your kids---MY kids in My ways.  To teach them of mornings spent with Me before all else.  They are a gift.  They are not yours to ruin, they are yours to show them Me.  To know and follow My Son who is so in love with them, to let them fall in love with Him as well.  To teach them how easy it is to call out to Me in a moments notice, for everything and anything.  You are helping them with their eternity.  This is a purpose I have for you.  

I know its not just me who teaches my children the ways of Jesus.  We belong to a community who takes the young under their wings as well, showing Jesus' love and grace and shows them all things Holy.  But when God grips you so tight, taking your hand and gently shifts  you over even if its just a tad to see what you're doing at a different angle it makes me kinda scared.  Their eternity... Holy boley.

But God is love and His grace is amazing and all the times He has guided and provided I cannot count.  To teach them to trust Him I must do the same.  I must take His hand and in moments of feeling unworthy or not experienced enough, remind myself life with Jesus is not about having it all figured out but having a relationship with Him most high.  He will guide me through each moment to teach them how to let Him guide them through each moment.  He's a true teacher and friend.  To show them that is vital.  He is nessessary.  He is Life.  He has to be fully embraced and intentionally lived. 

What God can gift you in a day

It hit 23 degrees here today.  End of October, and everything is golden around us.  You would think on a day where two out of your four children had head lice one would be bonkers.  But when God gives you breath, and God gives you His grace, how can one flip when the wind blows so warm and graceful past you and babies look at the trees releasing what seems to be like gold.

Surrounded by golden foliage dancing to its final rest around you.  Not thousands in the bank account but you still feel super rich.

The smell in the air is pure perfection.  The smell of autumn whispering "He is good"

The children run around, kart wheels in bare feet and the leaves leap off their toes.

Tehillah, almost three months sits in awe of ash tree dropping what is almost like petals around her.  One falls on her face and she almost doesn't seem to mind.  Curiosity in her eyes, and wonderment.

You just sit in awe of Gods goodness as you watch these children play and how the weather demands you be still and take it in.  These children who are such individuals who will never fit into any mold we would try to fit them into because they were handcrafted so beautifully.  To sit back and wonder who they will become as they become adults is mind boggling.

The tree's highlights reflect on all that come into their midst and you are clothed in their colour.

And the repetitive combing through hair does not seem like a hindrance because its in a day like this its obvious to see that God is good.  His creation hinting at how glorious it will be when Christ restores all goodness.

Its a taste of bliss and its not far to find when eye lids are opened.
Blankets are laid out on the grass hidden and taken back into the house, leaves dance across the carpet and remind us that His goodness can be carried anywhere because He is in us.

And even though the day was long and daily tasks on hold it was so good.  All is well because He is good.

Its all bullying no matter how you look at it.

This will most likley come off sounding condeming or rude and finger pointing but its really bugging me. 
In light of suicide caused by bullying, Amanda Todd has made the country talk.  People are standing up and police are cracking down on people who like to pray on people verbally and physically.
However, it doesn't stop here.  Way too often I have noticed how careless we can be not even 24 hours after we hashtag #stopbullying or share a young girls last words on YouTube, sharing our discust with the people who tore her down. Then we turn around post passive aggressive or just plain aggressive posts about our political leaders, wifes, ex-wives, husbands, ex-husbands, friends, family, neighbors. Now I know families, friends, teachers, kids, neighborhoods and politics (politicians get a lot of negativity these days) can be difficult and full of all sorts of not so nice things... But do you honestly think it helps to bash them constantly?  Is this not bullying too? Do I need to go on? Is this not all bullying?  Yes everyone is entitled to their opinions and yes people can make us angry or frustrated.  But to belittle and bash is seriously not going to make it better.  Society rips people who displease them a new one and then cry out because a girl killed herself because of bullying...come on now tell me how this makes sense?  Its all the same.  I do not care if these people being bashed ever see what is being said or not, others do and it sets forth more negativity into this world and haven't we had enough?