Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What I have to hold onto.

Our lives with God is such a journey isnt it?  He promises to lead us, and expects us not to drag Him around.  I feel as though Jesus has become my security blanket, while this could be seen a cute analogy I also feel that I havent put enough trust in where His Spirit guides me sometimes.  Jesus is our comforter, but He is also the one who wants to guide us.  Security blankets dont walk.  And I bet you any money 99 percent of it is my fault. Im not condemming myself or trying to make myself or anyone else feel sorry for me but how often do I allow myself to just realllly let God work.  Not to allow anything else but God to show me the way.  Not google, not a dictionary, not wiki, not facebook, not a person, nothing else but Him. 

My view of Christianity has changed dramatically over my past years of walking with Him.  Not that He has changed, because thats impossible, but I have been learning, unlearning, relearning, and a lot of the times my eyes can go crossed and I end up in tears and if all I can mutter is "I trust you God" than I think Im off to an okay start.  Sometimes I wish that I could say it without the tears, that (and I know it will come) that I just dont even worry about the certain things and say it, without the worry and the stress.. God doesnt want me to worry or stress about anything.  Not one thing.

I have to walk down His path and I have to really trust that where He is going is where He wants me.  I find myself right now with a few things kinda stuck in a fork in the road.  And I am notorious for more times than not to try and make a path through the thick bush on either side.  The path God asks us to take sometimes isn't always easy, but the path He asks me to take is a path that He is on.  When I start climbing through the bush and going off track, its not where He wants me to go, does that mean He isnt there.  I think He is, but its like He's going "ooo Candace, this is going to take a whole lot longer now and going to cause you way much more stress than I had planned for you." 

I am not expected to get it all. When Christ comes back, then it will be perfect.  I know some people say the perfect has come because scripture is complete, but it hasnt come for me yet.  It hasnt come for probably a majority of Christians around the world.  His word is living and He still speaks today.  When He comes back, and we are with Him, then I can say its perfect.  And in the meantime I have to trust Him.  Faith is the strongest five letter word I know. 

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