Friday, December 9, 2011

multitudes of ifts 340-380... Gods promises for us!!

This past week has been interesting, yet Gods gifts keep flowing, and from 364 and on, I share Gods promises, such amazing gifts that still carry out today

340-Sledding on a dusting of snow
341-Getting a midwife much sooner than expected.
343-Morning sickness
344-Playing Scrabble with my hubby late at night
345-Our youngest going for his first sleepover at 346-Grandmas and Papa's house
347-Gods constant presence
348-A gift from a friend
349-Visits with family
350-A son comforting his Mamma
351-The biggest snowflakes falling Snowball fights at the bus stop
352-A very messy house - dirty dishes showing we have eaten and toys around displaying fun.
353-kids running down the park hill, sunset behind them and laughter, wheres a camera when you need it!
354-spaghetti dinner at Grandma and Papas
355-“Don’t worry,” he said, “he’s alive!” - Acts 20:10
356-Christmas movie night with the kids
357-East Side Marios with the "young adults" at the Sanctuary!
358- revitalizing spirit on a Sunday morning
359- hearts on sleves
360-  building a snowman all the way home from church
361-  children doing a dance at church
362-  layered nacho dip made with hubby- EPIC
363- potluck dinners with our life group
364- Gods promises-  John 10:10 ~ The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
365- Gods promises- Matther 6:33 ~  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

366- Gods promises- James 1:5~ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
367- Gods promises- Matthew 7:7-8 ~  “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
368- Gods promises  Mark 11:24~  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
369- Gods promises- Mark 16:16-18~  Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned.  These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages.They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won’t hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed."
370- Gods promises- Matthew 11:28-30~ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
371- Gods promises - Mark 1:41-  Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!”
372- Gods promises- John 15:11-  I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!
373- Gods promies- Romans 14:17- So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me in my service to God.
374- Gods promises- John 17:13- Now I am coming to you. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy.
375-  Gods promises- Romans 15:13-  I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

376- Gods promises- Phillippians 4:7- Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
377- Gods promises- John 8:36- So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free
378- Gods promises- 2 Corinthians 3:17-  For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
379- Gods promises- Galatians 5:1- So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.
380- Gods promises- John 8:31-  Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

we are preparing for someone

God has entrusted us with something...

God has entrusted us with someone...

Who this someone is we dont quite know yet, and yet He does, inside and out.

While the snow falls outside and I lay in bed calm at 3am, God asks me to be still, and yet inside God is knitting together at a rapid pace a life.   Cells dividing, explosive creation at highspeed and yet all is calm and I am almost completly unaware. 

This tiny tiny child, knitted together within my body, so fragile, and God has entrusted me to carry this life. 

We left this decision to God months ago, if He wanted us to have another child, He would allow it to happen, and if He doesnt want us to have anymore, He could say no... He has said no for a while, at times I was outright frustrated with Him.  He would gently remind me that if we were to give this part of our lives to Him, we had to trust Him in it...fully.    His timing is always pefect, His plans are always right. 

Trust in the Lord has to be in all things, from conception to creation, month by month, midwives or obgyns, morning sickness or not, it all has to be given to Him who can ultimatly make the best decision for Mom, Dad and siblings and the wee child within.   God is holding our hands in this...all of this.  There can be joy and thanks in each moment.  Each and every moment.   Mary trusted the Lord in all these things with Jesus who she carried, month by month- our Lord and Saviour who we also prepare for the coming of during this season. 

We dont know what tomorrow holds, but I know that now holds the opportunity to trust that God knows whats right and we will give thanks continuously to Him, over and over moment by moment. To prepare and enjoy and have a multitude of gifts even in this one big event in our lives. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Multitudes of Gifts #317-339

...A day late, but heres my entry for Multitudes on Monday.  Whew! What a big big week full of surprises, blessings and gifts!

317-  Zayden being shocked and concerned about his pruney feet after being in the tub for an hour
318-  dental surgury that went extreemly well, bouncing back an hour after being home.  Kids are so resiliant! Thank you all for the prayers
319-  Revelations from God for friends
320-  colds dissapearing
321-  new creation!!!  children are a gift from the Lord...
322-  a new to us sofa.  Good bye fouton!
323-  purpose
324-  free ebooks
325-  a daughter, telling you ever so sweetly to pull her finger.... *sigh* then actually doing it LOL
326-  the words that come out of a childs mouth.  So unpredictable sometimes.
327- a child trying to mimmick his brothers breakdancing
328- Christmas carols out of the mouths of children
329- lights on a tree
330- 5am
331- a husband quitting smoking after almost 20 years
332- God holding our home in His hands
333- Us allowing God to hold our home in His hands
334- slow slow walks to church...winter boots and puddles
335- a child waking you up at 4:30 in the morning to tell you "oh my bum again" ROFL
336-  fresh snow falling at 3am when you're having one on one time with God
337- Asking God to assist in a matter and knowing full well He can and He will!
338- watching my friends take full faith in God, taking steps that most people wouldnt dare try to do because of fear, but trusting God in their lives fully and without doubt.  Go Marly Go!!! We love you guys!!
339-  tantrums at a friends house, a test in paitience, one I actually think I might have passed this time! LOL
340 - My kids- and a Merry Christmas moment. 


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

He directs the snow to fall...

"He directs the snow to fall on the earth, and tells the rain to pour down."
~~~  Job 37:6.

There is something about even just a dusting of snow falling over our Canadian soil that makes me feel a crisp renewing and anticipation of the heart.  Preparing for Christ's birth and preparing for new beginnings, new revelations and new love to emerge.    To wait exepctedly for our Lords presence each moment.  To pray continuoulsy in thanks.  Its a complete washing of the soul for me.  The autumn is nearing its end, struggles near its end and I exhale as it seems the clouds do, covering the neighbourhood in a white dusting of purity. 

"He sents the snow like white wool, He scatters frost upon the ground like ashes"
~~  Psalm 147:16


Im excited for this season coming.  Its a season to be celebrated in joy, thanks and hope.  To rediscover the peace of Jesus Christ.  To re-examine all within me and give thanks and purge of the things that dont bring Him glory

 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow
~~Psalm 51:7

Knitting pattern for Kobo Vox Cozy

My amazing hubby got me a Kobo Vox for Christmas, and with a few bats of the eyes I recieved it early :) So it only made sense I knit a cover for the thing (not that I dont have enough projects on the go :p)  I had some left over acrylic yarn (aran weight) ...nothing fancy but something that would do the trick. I doubled it up so it would be thicker. This is in no way a fancy pattern...I just winged it and prayed for the best. To be honest there might even be similar ones out there.  But I dont mind sharing mine as well.  The Kobo Vox's dimensions are 5 x 7.6 x 0.5 inches. 

This is how I made mine:

Cast on 30 stitches on a size 7.5 mm needles. Then you are going to knit six rows ribbed.
Row 1 :  *K2, p2; rep from * to end of row.
Row 2 :  *P2, k2: rep from * to end of row.  
Row 3, and 5: Repeat row 1
Row 4, and 6: Repeat row 2

Row 7:  Knit
Row 8: Purl.

Continue Rows 7 and 8 till you make 30 rows of this stockinette stitch.

Again, thegse are just can do more or a few less depending on your gauge. When you get it to the length you desire,then cast off and then fold it in half, purl side facing out  (this will be the inside) and stitch it up the bottom and one side to make it into the pouch the tablet will go into. And voila!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

When your youngest takes your camera

He has captured the moment in the most unique way.  In a way I think as an adult I have forgotten to capture.  There is just so much that happens around us.  My son, Zayden, a few months shy of three, captured a few days ago on my digital camera while we kept company with my cousin and her youngest son.  Flashes flying... now this isnt a cheap camera and my warning signals went off that perhaps this is not the best idea, but I was interested to see in how he would capture the next moments in our livingroom..what would be important to him???

Turns out the things that are important to him are very similar to the things that are important to us :) 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Fear and yet still 1000 gifts...

I sat on the phone as the receptionist for the pediatric dentist confirmed our youngests appointment for the first day of December.   

"so just to confirm what we will be doing- 2 silver fillings, 2 white fillings, 4 crowns, he will be needing nerve work done on his four front teeth, x-rays and a cleaning.  You will need to bring him after 7am and hand him over to us, you cannot be in the room with him when we put him under and do the dental work.  Any questions?"

ummm...yes!!   I know God has not given me a spirit of fear but my wee baby (well my 32 pound toddler) is going to have to be sedated and then have massive dental work!  Its not that we were bad parents and didn't brush his teeth, but I guess two years of straight eating around the clock (he nursed like a newborn for that long!) and not being able to brush his molars the best due to him fighting us tooth and nail had something to do with it.

Oh all these what ifs!  What if I just got up and brushed his teeth after he breastfed every hour?  What if I tried a little harder to brush his teeth for the full two minutes?  What if we flat out refused to give him anything with sugar? 

How is he going to feel when he has to go in with these complete strangers?  When they have to make him sleep.  Im sorry, but the thought of it just makes me think he's going to be terrified!  Will he remember?  I know Im going to be a mess if I dont keep my eyes on Jesus the whole time.  And thats just what I havent been doing in this very well.  I know that God over and over again tells us to not be afraid (I believe its over 300 times in the Bible isnt it?) and yet here I sit, knowing my family has God on our side, that God will be with my son during the procedure, the doctors and nurses and staff, with my other children and my husband and I.   But its so funny how we forget God or dont even want to reach out to God in our times of trouble isnt it? 

Isaiah 40:10~ Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

1 Peter 5:7 ~ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Romans 8:15 ~So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”

I ask for those reading this for your prayers, that God would cast out all the anxiety and fears I have for this day coming up this week, that He would comfort our son Zayden as he goes into surgury, to be with the doctors and nurses and staff and to just cover them all in His love.  That things would go well and that recovery would be quick.  
And through the upcoming week will be a bit different, I continue to count my 1000 gifts

301-  Zayden wiping his nose on a sweater in a embarrasing, but made everyone laugh)
302-  preparing for Advent - anticipating the coming of Christ
303-  children decorating the Chirstmas tree
304-  new ice skates for an upcoming frozen season
305-  the kids Christmas shopping done!
306-  salt, cornstartch and water all mixed up and ornaments created
307-  the fact that my son CAN have his teeth repared, blessed to live in a country that can also help us pay for the procedure.
308-  ice blue snowflakes
309-  making a cab driver smile
310-  witnessing God work and move in friends and family
311-  Kids decorating the grandparents Christmas tree.  About six bulbs per branch!
312-  blessed with a violin,  time to learn, so excited!
313-  popcorn, icecream and Veggie Tales
314-  my husband all full of laughter and joy. 
315-  early Christmas gifts
316-  children finishing a Nativity scene for our home

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

And we do Advent for the first time

This is the first time I have ever even thought about doing Advent with my family.  Never before have I had the full out desire to do this in our home.  This year, I felt God really nudging me to dig right into it.  To explore it and take part in Advent.  To have Him as a focus this holiday season more than we ever have before in our home.   No matter how crazy it gets over the next weeks, the gifts, the red and green, the money, the Ho-Ho-Ho everywhere we go...

Jesus has to be the anticipation, Jesus has to be the center.

To celebrate the continuous love of God, with no beginning and no end.  To Seek God over the next weeks and to find Him wrapped in a manger, love shining for the entire world.  The first gift ever given.  God gave first, and we remember this. 

To have that hope in Christ, to renew it.  To have that joy in knowing we are His children!  Loved fully and adored!  To unfold the love that Jesus has for us, and celebrating the anticipation of His birth.  That little baby boy, spottless and blameless, without blemish, who would later be beaten, crucified... for you and for me.   This no greater love
We will sit nightly around our dinner table.  Bibles in hand (we will be using the scripture for each week found here )
waiting for God to speak to us through the pages of His Word.  Helping us to relive that moment in time when He came down to show us the way. 

Monday, November 21, 2011

Multitudes of Gifts #285- 300

Its in these tmes when we dont see exactically why God is allowing us to go through a struggle, or face sadder emotions that we must continue to write out our gifts.  They are everywhere.  God blesses us everyday.  Yet how fast we can forget even the things He shares with us moments afterwards. 

285-  making caramel apples and maple sugar fudge with the kids
286-  slumber parties in the livingroom
287-  a husband allowing Christmas lights up this early
288-  being stretched
289-  very thoughtful and random emails from friends.
290-  tears that flow down and then up to our Father who wipes them away
291-  cheesy cheesy laughter in unison- three children and a crazy Mother.
292-  a friend blowing a kiss through the window to cheer a cranky me (I did appreciate it Carly!)
293-  a surprise visit from my Godmother, cousin and her children.
294-  knitting nights
295-  much needed worship
296-  frost on the roof
297-  beyond excellent parent/teacher interviews.  A school year looking much better than the year before.  Thank You Lord
298-  12 new strings on the BC Rich.  Sounds beautiful. 
299-  worship flowing on the livingroom couch on a Sunday night, alone, just a girl and her guitar and the Holy Spirit
300-  Life Group-  what fun this is!


Saturday, November 19, 2011

When God wants to move the enemy does too

I know that its a battle to just keep sanity for myself.  I have been called to be a Mother and a wife.  I have been called to enjoy each moment with my children, even if its a melt down at 9pm during worship at our Church service on a Thursday night.  Its a struggle though I must admit.  My impluse is to get right frustrated that my kids are clearly interfeering with my joy.  But there IS joy in this too.  I get to take care of these little balls of energy and love them regardless of their attitudes.  (please remind me of this the next time my two year old throws a tantrum)This song was being sung,  worship was amazing and I stood just in my secret place with Christ.  This whole service was so worship focused.  I so very much needed this.  My daughter taps me on the shoulder and tells me her youngest brother is beyond angry in the kids room.  He was beyond inconsolable, beyond tired, just Hulk in two year old form.   I tried to make him happy, took him into the other room in the dark.  "The righteous son, he is Yahweh.... Yahweh,  Yahweh"  I could here the whole Church worshiping the Great I Am.  I thought I could be very angry with my son for interupting this moment of such joy in God.  But I knew God called me for this moment in the dark with this screaming Zayden of mine.  I sang quietly (which he dislikes) the name of our God.   He was just so not having any happiness.  He was home focused and I knew I had to take these children home.  I dressed him and headed back out into the Sanctuary and sat him down amongst the church standing in worship of the King of Kings to dress my other two children. 

For a brief moment he stopped crying, almost feeling the Lord moving in amongst His people.  But it was short lived and the tears started.  I rushed to put on hats mittens and scarfs, I still think we mangaged to leave a mitten or two behind in amongst the tears. 

I think it was our Pastor who said in that moment to the Chruch that God moves in times like this and inside my head I heard myself say "so does the enemy" and I knew I had a choice to just be frustrated and angry with my children or to just love on them and get them home. 

The trip home was just as sad and noisy as it was inside.  He screamed in frustration the whole way home in the wagon.   In the door I sent the two oldest to one room to read while I put this wee tired lamb into bed, boots still on, he was out in two minutes, resting between his Mom and Dad.  Still that song echoed in my head. 

God was still with me and I could still worship.

I came downstairs and I had a choice, I could veg and watch tv, forget the chaos or continue to worship my God.  I cried I must admit for a good ten minutes, the utter exhaustion, trying so hard not to just let my frustration spill out onto my children.  The past three or so weeks, I have felt this depression I battled a few years ago try to creep back into my life.  I am determined that my God can defeat it in me, and while its hard,  I refuse to let it get to the point where I feel nothing.   I still want to feel Chirst.  Him in my life is something I couldnt imagine not having.  I prayed, and thanked Him for keeping me at a point this Thursday night that I wouldnt have handled as well on my own.   I read the Bible till I felt every uneasy feeling that crept in time to time cease.

His grace, His peace and joy,  His comfort-  it can rain down on us in every moment.  I think this past Thursday night was another reminder for me of this.  I have to stop looking at Jesus as a religion with doing things just this way or that way for worship, for praise, for prayer.  He is to be approached as a friend, a relationship with the One and Only who can help us in every. single. thing.  We must praise Him in everything because then the enemy will flee, because the second we dont give God praise, we are giving the enemy a free pass to move. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

His Grace.

My daughter picks up knitting again and again, trying to knit something, anything.  Her gauge much too wide, then much to tight.  Tears flow and she feels like she is the worst knitter in the world.  She is reminded that she isnt the worst, but learning, and even the best most accomplished knitters in the world started off just like that.  I remind her of the beautiful yarn she spun only a week ago, beautiful colours, the weight of the yarn, wispy then worsted, fingering to bulky.  She asks if that is okay.  It is okay because it is her expression of how that roving should spin.  People pay loads of money for yarn that is purposefully made to be a bit crazy... It doesnt have to be streamlined perfect.  Its art yarn!  Shifting our view of what she created to a different perspective from it being a bunch of mistakes to something beautiful. 

Its been warm, the kids run outside in t-shirts on the 8th November day (although a sweater would probably be better). Still tempted to run outside barefoot while laughing histarically at eachothers ideas and excitement.  Our two year old outside in winter boots, a t-shirt and a Canadian.  These kids love to be outside. My son cries because he didnt win the one race, and there has to be a discussion on what the importance is of playing with friends. Its not about winning or loosing, its about fun and love. teamwork.  They continue on playing and for now, there has been no more tears.

Watching my chidren as they have challenges come against them reminds me more and more of how fragile our minds and hearts are... how fragile and full of pride my mind and heart can be and is a lot more than it should be.  Even when we know we are loved deeply and fully by Jesus, how His love covers all our hurts, we still get worked up and at times fall apart.  Anger can sink in and there is that "not good enough" feeling that creeps in.  Even though God's amazing Grace covers us and fills in those holes that we feel we have created. 

We are doing a book study in Life Group at our Church, by  Francis Frangipane called "Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God".   As we dig into Part Two:  The Spirit of Grace, the first paragraph on the page of Chaper Five spoke to me loud

"If you hear a teaching and feel as though it were unattainable in your condition, you have only heard half the message. you missed the grace that is always resident in the heart of God's truth.  Truth without grace is only half true.  Remember this always:  grace and truth are realized in Jesus Christ (John 1:17-For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.)  What God's truth demands, His grace will provide."

I think the past few weeks I have really been forgetting that God is full of Grace.  Loaded to the brim with it.  I have felt definatly less than worthy of God's goodness and to be in His Kingdom.  When I feel like this I feel like hiding from God.  Kinda hard when He is in my heart! I have felt inadequate and very discourraged because I have forgotten about God's Grace...I have said it again and again, and heard it but time and time again latley I never really thought it.  Really sat and reflected on it.  He is a good God and He loves me.  He provides the grace and forgiveness.  I belong to Him and I need to drawn nearer and nearer to Him when I feel inadequate because He is the only one who can make me feel adequate.  His Grace is enough.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Multitudes of Gifts 268- 284

There is joy in every day, every moment.  There is God moments everywhere, we just have to sometimes look harder than we want too.  This past week there were a lot of things going on, but there were still many moments of joy to mark down and share.  God is good all the time. 
I post this a few hours early, tomorrow is a busy day, that will no doubt be filled with joy and God's grace. 

268-  Zayden talking to himself through the oven window
269-  dragging sticks through puddles
270-  rearranging the livingroom
271-  rearranging it again
272-  the eyebrows of our two and a half year old raising and shifting, ever so adorable
273-  God answering prayer- saying "no" but understanding this is best
274-  terrifying news, but knowing that through Christ, we can take our prayers and requests through it to the Father and He can move with us for strength
275-  frost on the rooftops
276-  Zayden trying to get our husky to just -lay- down.  Hillarious
277-  God shifting and moving inside me.
278-  The book of John - if you havent read it in a while, read it and then read it again
279-  my right eye, possibly a detached retina, but I know God is good. 
280-  hot sauce on a banana...long story.
281-  jack-o-lanterns from school from Tayven
282-  dinner at Carly's
283-  lessons in paitience (I keep failing those!)
284-  conviction
285-  the humor of a four year old purposly tripping into the grass over and over again
286-  new knitted hats, mittens and scarves from Papa
287-  A guy juggling while riding a bike down Huron Street... so random, the kids LOVED it.
288-  a man giving my children a pile of helium balloons just because.  Random acts of kindness are awesome
289-  icecream sundaes... so delicious
290-  teaching my daughter learning to use a drop spindle
291-  the kids all in unison in our living room "Yes Jesus loves me"

Saturday, October 29, 2011

praying while cringing... the tests will come

I have been reading a lot of just the red letters in my Bible.  I have had a hunger to read the written words of what Jesus said while teaching those around Him about what He asks us to do.   He spoke in parables alot, but for the ones I never quite understood, when Holy Spirit reveals to me what Jesus was talking about in that moment, I can never help but smile ear to ear.  Jesus is fascinating, captivating.   I cant help but sing His name allowed first thing in the morning, while folding laundry, doing my dishes.  When I am happy, Im usually singing randomly throughout the day about Jesus. 

The past week we had a LOT of stuff hit the fan.  Got some terrible news this week, my right eye is kinda funky (seeing an eye doctor on Monday no worries!!), God gave me answers I didnt really like... I have had near tantrum meltdowns... and you know what, I had God in all that... His Spirit was there willing to guide me... willing to show me the way He would like me to handle situations to glorify God and ultimatly really are a lot better for myself.  I failed a lot of tests in patience this week, and I didnt go to God for guidance about 80% of the time.  This week sucked

But after all that woe is me stuff I put on myself, I can almost picture Jesus sitting on the couch, as I sit on the floor tears flowing, drama city...just sitting there so calm and relaxed, sympathetic look on His face but at the same time this look of "oh child you look kinda silly."  And when I look to Him, He has open arms, and is there to just love me and comfort me.  He sits there the whole time, open arms just waiting, with answers and help and comfort.  Its afterwards where Im like "oh Lord I could have come to You first and I wouldnt have felt so angry, upset and like the whole world was crushing in all around. "  or better yet, never leaving His side to even consider doing it on my own!  Really imprinting those red letters in my heart. 

Im redeemed, Im God's child.  That enough should make me always smile!  I want to follow Christ and I strive everyday to do what He has called me, but I feel this past week instead of running even quicker- shifting to ask Holy Spirit for guidance in moments of trouble, I ran and hid instead, or took anger and frustration out on my family and friends.  Christ tells us to follow Him.  Simply put.  He is the way!  To just be filled with His love, and to love and to love Him, to follow His teachings, to set myself apart- this anger, and automatic "oh things are messing up! God's gotta plan but I'll panic anyways" attitude I have... oh that is so what it is (lightbulb just came on)!  I KNOW God's ways are so perfect, I have seen it over and over and over.  His answer to my prayers has always been 100% best.  Putting your trust in Jesus Christ is a sweet deal!  But MAN do I ever fall back into old habits a lot still- instant panic, worry, OCD. 

I pray that God will really work with me on this, to (dare I say it) give me more and more lessons that I need in order to go deeper and deeper in my trust and relationship with Him.  I usually try not to pray for the things like paitience and stuff because I fail them alot, but being totally honest, if love is paitience, and God is Love and God is Holy and God calls us to be Holy because He is Holy, then I need to be paitient, and kind and all those fruits of the Spirit.  So I pray for those things I need to work on.  I pray kinda cringing my face a bit, but the prayer does go out.   God will answer!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


I find myself in an intoxicating cycle almost over and over being addicted to the internet .. not so much googling, or blogging even, but mostly social networking.  That link just above there is a blog post I did about being addicted mostly to facebook.  I went back onto facebook shorty after I made that blogpost for a while and I was able to balance having a social network life, keeping intouch with friends, family, church, my volunteer business and such that way... but very quickly I found myself spending a bit more time on it each day.  I found it to get a big crazy and I would do a quick facebook detox, but I have realized that I personally just cant close it off and not be on it.  If its activated, its on..Im on, logged in and zoned in. My Bible sits neglected, my housework begins to get neglected and there were days I caught myself neglecting my children....lets face it, playing Journey of Moses is NOT Bible Study..just sayin.  :p

God had a vision and a plan for my life.  This was not to sit on Facebook all day, while when I went back onto facebook that late spring early summer this year I decided to use it to spread the amazing news of Jesus Christ, I tried as much as I could to share..A majortiy of my status' were Scripture...sharing my faith in the most amazing God, the only God.  I wonder how many people had "unsubscribed" from me since only one person besides my family and Church family have even noticed Im gone (or atleast contacted me!)  LOL. 

Gods vision and plan for me right now I am convinced is to be a Mother and a wife... to take care of the house.  To serve my family, to connect with other Mothers and to do that old fashioned "house wife" stuff.  I love it.  I love being the stay at home Mom...actually being in the work force makes me sick to my stomach. 

God has called me to these things, and when I am doing them I think I do an okay job. 

But when I get on the computer, this lazyness sets in.  "Oh I will soak the dishes then pop on facebook." ... popping on facebook for me is like two hours.  Water that was boiling hot is now cold. 

We have been doing these Thursday night services at our Church, and it has been the past three weeks about holiness.  God started to really nudge me during these services.  I would usually come home and cry.   We had a ladies night, and it too was about becoming Kingdom focused and the fact that we cannot impart what we dont posess.  Im not going to be able to raise children who are set apart for God if Im not set apart for God myself. I have a husband so new in his walk with Christ (Thank You God), I want to be showing Jesus as much as I can to him.  I have faith in God, I have seen Him do amazing things in my life when I have put my full trust in only do I have faith still to reward me from ridding myself of an idol in my life?  To show me what He has planned for me when I am not logged on constantly?   Our pastor told us flat out a few weeks ago "to dispise a holy lifestyle is to dispise God Himself."  God is HOLY.  He cannot operate away from that.  I need to manage my time much better, I cant waste the steps He's called me to walk in.   "God called you to His will, not yours" - was something else that kinda echoed in my head for a long time.   Holy Spirit has just been prodding at me "come on, just get rid of the thing..that ONE silly thing that you are so hooked on again and get back at doing what you've been called to do..and for the love of Jesus dont get back on it!" 

I deactivated my account and Im telling you I have hardly been on the internet at all since then (except to check email, and that takes like two minutes).  How easy was it to do when I know God has my back and was probably like "THANKYOU!"

Ive read more Scripture in the past week and a half than I had in a month.  The hunger to devour everything God has to show me is back.  I had been starving myself spiritually. I got so much laundry done, I am able to make better time for my kids.  

God isreally telling me to get away from all those things in my life that really prevent me from being set apart for Him and just running after Him and getting excited about the fact that He speaks to me through His word, and He wants to hear my prayers constantly and He just takes such joy in what Im doing, even if its scrubbing a toilet.  And I take joy in it too because this is what God has given me..this life, these kids, my husband this house... even if I have to clean it all myself day after day,  I do it for them and I do it for the Lord.  I want to be operating in a way that God can work in me.   God never changes, and I have to press forward and get into the lifestyle that He commands His children to walk in.  So I must make the change, so I can please Him.  And be excited about that above everything else.   Having faith that He is going to show me more amazing things still...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Multitudes of Gifts #235-267

Things have been so busy in our household, with our family, church, friends.  There have been so many blessings but I wasnt keeping track.  Here are some in no particular order. 

235- pedicure days with a wonderful sister in Christ
236- hearing new music where God touches your heart
237- newborn babies
238- community outreaches
239- bbqs
240- bouncy castles
241- facepaint
242- laughter
244- Gods holiness
245- provision from Him
246- pouty boys
247- God stretching me, teaching me
248- bye bye facebook, putting God first above all else.  no idols.
249- being blessed with leftovers. 
250 Thanksgiving at my in laws
251-  reds, oranges, and yellows falling from the tree's.
252- celebraing the two year anniversary of the Sanctuary!
253- Front row seats for Cirque du Soleil Micheal Jackson's Immortal Tour with my husband, fantastic show, beautiful date night. 
254- play groups with awesome women!
255- misty fields in early morning
256- falling asleep praying, waking up in the middle of prayer, knowing that whatever was prayed for while sleeping God still heard
257- Nourish nights
258- youth conferences
259- late night chineese food with hubby
260-  baked goodies shared all around
261- surprises from Cryssy "YAY!"
262- laughing histarically in almost panic when the facepaint just wont wash off! LOL
263-  church family
264- more new babies!
265-  dying wool with smelling so good. 
266- broken crock pot
267- rainy day groceries

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Even in the messes

Even in the messes, when things are just a bunch of colours swirling around like crazy, when nothing
makes any sense.  There is an oportunity to find hope.
I had the amazing opportunity to see this man, David Garibaldi, live doing his amazing artwork.  This peice in the video fits so perfectly with what Christ can do for all of us in our lives, when things are all crazy and upside down...He is there.  And He is waiting for us to cry out and take His hand.  What an amazing journey it is. 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Its a Romney day

It is so cold, its is so wet outside, the wind is strong and this crunchy mamma doesnt want to face the outdoors today!Housework is completed and the laundry is tumbling, the kids are playing and my husband is taking a well deserved nap. 

I shall spin and mediate on Christ's goodness.
There is something about spinning wool (or anything spinable for that matter), that is so soothing and relaxing, you can just let your mind wander and go deep into thought. 
I can pray, I can worship, I can just have a great talk with the Great I Am, right in my livingroom, while spinning up some Romney fleece.  And whatever it is I create out of it, will still hold all those prayers, those thoughts and those conversations (Im thinking mittens!)

Why wouldnt I want to look at the creations I make with my own hands and not think of the Creator who created them?

 13 She seeks wool and flax,
      And willingly works with her hands.

  19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
      And her hand holds the spindle. 

                    ~Proverbs 31 NKJV

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Can we show some LOVE?

When are us Christians going to stop hating on people?  When are Christians going to stop picking and choosing who they want around them, who are going to witness Christ's love and possibly ask "hey, how can I get some of that?"

I don't know all the politics of Church, I don't know or care to know about all the angry protests from Christian people who flash their angry signs at groups of people who offend them.  I just know its wrong and not what Jesus would have done.   I follow Jesus Christ, not a religion.  Jesus calls us to love and follow Him..Thats what my purpose is in Him- to love Him and show His love to others.

I sit her just in tears tonight over once again another follower of Christ who has shown an attitude that is not of Christ.  Its hit local media and people are very upset.  When is it going to stop?  When are we just going to love people because that's what Christ asks us to do?  We are to love others as He loves us! And that's a LOT.  He loves you and I more than anyone could possibly love us!
If every single person on the face of this earth loved you to the point that they couldn't love any more Jesus still loves you more!   please remember that.  

You know, the people who are basically loving on people to the point of no return who aren't even followers of Christ are doing a much better job than some of us, and our God is LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not saying that all Christians are horrible angry judgemental people because a majority of us aren't, we aren't perfect, but no one is.   I attend a Church where everyone just loves on everyone, its beautiful. You walk in and you feel love!  But lets face it, that's not what the world see's as how the church body opperates. Media is going to show the horrible, bad mistakes we make and THAT'S how society is going to see followers of Christ as.  These people are not going to say "hmmm maybe the media is wrong, and the links are wrong about how horrible Chrisitan's are, I should go check it out for myself."

I hardly think that's how its going to happen.

We are supposed to live a life that is blameless, we are supposed to be walking like Him 24/7.  

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."  John 3:16

"And He is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world" 1st John 2:2 

If we are going to act like Jesus we need to think like Him too.  The next time we want to shut out  someone, or judge them we need to say "God loves that person... and I need to love them too"

Monday, September 26, 2011

Multitudes of gifts #322-234

This past week was busy, but I managed to capture and record some of the joy of the week.

322- our youngest son Zayden being fascinated that the moon "follows us" from our house to Tim Hortons.
323- Zayden holding the door for US in and out of the coffee shop...what a gentleman.
224-ZAYDEN GOING PEE ON THE POTTY!!!!! his reward- a hotwheel!
225- tons of boys playin in the mud
226- kids playing school in the kitchen
227- the blood of Christ
228- "Jesus wasnt an afterthought"
229- My husband planning to go on a missions trip to Rwanda... God is good!
230- Zayden and Alexis snuggling on the couch
231- a case of the giggles hardcore.
232- weekend conferences
233- birthday cake made by the kids
234- the cutest dog ever whom I call "shamwow" 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

seeking Him in all things changing... some autumn pictures

“Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.” Joel 2:23

Monday, September 19, 2011

multitudes of gifts 295-321

295- gardening with a great friend out in the country
296- barn kittens
297- pie pumpkins
298- the most stubborn carrots in the world
299- the gift of a bike for my husband- family bike rides for the first time in over about four years
300- encouragement from friends
301- waiting on God
302- milk weed pods
303- movie afternoons with the boys
304- coffee date with four adorable boys and a really cute girly (Thanks Carly and Jessica!)
305- draggin the garbage through the wet cold grass early morning, kinda not very happily, to look up and see a rainbow in the sky.  What a way to start the day! :)
306- Zephaniah 3:17, The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. -- GOD is going to sing over us! Doesnt that give you goosebumps?
307- finishing knitting a sweater that took me two years to get around to finishing LOL
308- Our church finally being podcasted (yes podcasted is officially a word...I said so)
309- my friend Paula giving birth to her third child, a beautiful boy, at home. 
310- webcam 101 for Seniors -- beyond sweet.  I want that to be my husband and I
311- two needle socks
312- clever ways of parenting.
313- 8.6km's of biking with the family, discovering new paths and getting lost but finding our way home.
314- baby acorns
315- very awake toddlers at midnight.
316- cranky determined toddlers the next day
317- the fact that God is always in control
318- squirrels peeking down
319- Dylan..all of him.  I love him to peices
320- late night popcorn
321- autumn rain

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Making an autumn shift....

I need to learn something so basic.  I need to grasp and fully comprehend something so simple, so childlike that it almost makes me laugh and terrify me at the same time.  As I've mentioned, autumn is a time of struggle for me spiritually.  I need to grasp something sooo sooo basic.  God created the autumn.  God created it for our enjoyment.  Its part of the cycle of how nature runs here and its beauty is something He created and it is for His purposes. 

So simple right?

But I associate it with the years I was pagan, the years I practiced wicca,  the years I followed the devil.   halloween, my little parties out in the woods summoning things that I dont dare even talk about these days.  I associate it with the begining of the school year when I would start to skip school to hang out and drink or get high.  I associate it with dying my hair red to match the leaves colours.  I associate it with things not of Christ and therefore my struggle chugs on each time that beautiful scent of fall hits the wind.  A scent I crave but hate at the same time.  Its my favorite time of the year and my least favorite time all in the same breath.

This is my goal this fall, to totally change my views of the season I crave to love most with Christ. 

Im running for this simple choice, to transform my way of thinking this time of year, so that the next years will be different. 
So if you see a lo
t more oranges, reds and yellows, the discussion of fall and autumny things more and more on here, its because Im working this out.  This has to be done.   This needs to be a season where I can embrace Christ as much as the others.   When I smell the leaves crunching beneath my feet, I need to breathe Christ.  When I hear them, it needs to remind me of His love.  Nothing else.

 James 5:7
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.

Monday, September 12, 2011

what the heck just happened to me?

Sunday morning we had a really rejuvinating encouraging message, but I left feeling really sad.  Im not sure if it was something that was said, or something I felt during worship, but I felt so numb almost if that is the right word.  I came home and I kinda sat there in a trance, trying to peice together what the heck just happened to me.   Like bummed out!
My husband and I had an arguement the night before that we didnt settle, I thought maybe God was trying to speak to me about that.  God has been talking to me over and over and oooover again about being the wife and mother he has called me to be. We talked about vision in our lives on Sunday... maybe Im not following it full on like I should.  But was that what it was that God placed on my heart?  I still have no idea.  I am dumbfounded...sorta

I have been very much also feeling frustrated with things I allow into my life that are doing me no good in my walk with Christ.  I love my God.... I love my Jesus.. well same thing- Jesus is God.  I KNOW this...   But if anyone ever tries to dispute it with me its almost like I want to fold.  Its almost like I just want to agree with them because it would make things easier.  I look into things too deep.  I look to people sometimes that I know are not God's children and think they are speaking truth.  I get obsessive in my thoughts and I get frustrated because I know that Christ died for me.  I know it, I feel it.  The relationship we have is amazing.   I cant even explain it to them because they have no clue how amazing having Him in my life is because they have never experienced it.  So I just sit frustrated, speaking to God asking Him to just strengthen me.  But over and over for the same stuff?  He must think Im nuts!

I read something the other night, totally random and I dont even know how I ended up coming across it.  A very sketchy webpage and I was reading something that just I knew was false, like not just false, but even to an athiest would make no sense you know what I mean? But then it ate at me all day, for a week now, even though I know its literally garbage, it just saddens me that these people dont have Jesus as their King.  It breaks me.  Its not fair to them.  

I've lost great friends because of Jesus.  But He ultimatley has to come first.  The other night, I think it was Friday or Saturday night I was feeling really not very Christian if thats a way to put it.  I felt very weak in my faith.  "Im not up to another dry time in my faith.  Whens the autumn going to be a time or rejuvination for me instead of sadness Lord.  Its my favorite time of the year, but my hardest."

This is a time of year I swear sometimes the enemy drops me off a little parcel of his crap and says "here, take a peek and just be tormented all season..have a nice day." 

Its not like Im bombarded with things, but its those one or two things that always get me and eat at me.  Its a battle.  Its one I dont speak tons about in person, but its one that my close friends know about and have heard about.  But I dont parade it around with a pity party.  But I choose to blog about it because I know others going through spiritual times that are weak.  I know God is going to bring me out of it, and I will be stronger through it.  Would I rather not go through it, ofcourse.  But His purpose for my life is so much better than what I think!  It happens like clock work everytime.  I think He's trying to teach me something.  I dont know if I have passed yet though! LOL

On Sunday morning our Pastor asked us to turn to 2 Timothy 1:9 and I thought I was there, but I was actually in 2 Thessalonians 1:9 .  My husband pointed out to me that I wasnt in the right book of the Bible, I already had it circled and everything and I got kinda mad at myself because I wasnt focusing. 

2 Timothy 1:9 says "(God) who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began"   
God has given me a holy calling, according to His purpose and grace, BEFORE time.  His purpose is perfect, it is ...well I dont think you can get better than perfect..and yet my mind wants to debate that!??!?!

When I opened my Bible later on I read in 2 Thessalonians 1:9 where I was by mistake

"They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of His power."  (unbelievers)

I think sometimes when God wants to get our attention He'll do it in very clever ways.  Like these two passages are like total opposites.  Do I want a holy calling or everlasting destruction in my life?  Am I going to allow things and people who are totally against me in my walk in Christ to tear me down or am I going to send them on there way without worrying about offending?  I know what route makes the most sense, and it will be the one I take.  I dont see myself ever walking away from God, but I still get tempted and I dont know if its just my personality or what but man, its like a nagging annoyance.  I cling to Christ and He holds me tight, but I think I have a long way to go in my walk in Him. 

Im curious to where He takes me... but I ultimatly have to keep following Him to see

Multitues of gifts #259-294

259- the blessings of hand me downs
260- cooking meals with friends
261- checking out the JK classroom with our son
262- passionate teachers
263- the air signaling autumn is definatly on its way
264- waking up in the middle of the night just so you can feel God's presence and just hang out
265- the first day of JK for our middle child
266- watching our daughter take him under her wing onto the bus with confidence
267- watching him smile happily, a new journey in his life, one he has been asking for for a long time
268- one on one time with our youngest
269- chicken in the slow cooker
270- my daughter hurting her arm and us praying over it to have the pain dissapear and a smile so huge cross her face
271- worship concert in the park.  All of Christs' Churches invitited to come together and worship the King of Kings!
272- children dancing and praising God "Jesus is here!" 
273- late night bus rides
274- our beautiful daughter turning 7
275- totally destroying the birthday cake, a neighbour stepping in to make one for her (BLESSED)
276- dinner for eight- such a joyous time!
277- really cute puppies
278- God placing something in your heart on a Sunday morning, even if you dont know fully what on earth it was, but know He is upto something. 
279- the way my two year old shuffles into the kitchen to get us to get him somthing, kinda leaning back, rolling his arms...its like a crazy "Come with me mom and feed me" dance.  Adorable.
280- praying for a young boy across the country who was abducted to be found safe, that the heart of the man who abducted him would be softened and he would release the child
281- that boy being returned home.  Praise GOD
282- cake batter bowls scraped out by children
293- new Bibles and devotion books
294- a new sister, welcome to the family Diala!