His Grace.

My daughter picks up knitting again and again, trying to knit something, anything.  Her gauge much too wide, then much to tight.  Tears flow and she feels like she is the worst knitter in the world.  She is reminded that she isnt the worst, but learning, and even the best most accomplished knitters in the world started off just like that.  I remind her of the beautiful yarn she spun only a week ago, beautiful colours, the weight of the yarn, wispy then worsted, fingering to bulky.  She asks if that is okay.  It is okay because it is her expression of how that roving should spin.  People pay loads of money for yarn that is purposefully made to be a bit crazy... It doesnt have to be streamlined perfect.  Its art yarn!  Shifting our view of what she created to a different perspective from it being a bunch of mistakes to something beautiful. 

Its been warm, the kids run outside in t-shirts on the 8th November day (although a sweater would probably be better). Still tempted to run outside barefoot while laughing histarically at eachothers ideas and excitement.  Our two year old outside in winter boots, a t-shirt and a diaper...so Canadian.  These kids love to be outside. My son cries because he didnt win the one race, and there has to be a discussion on what the importance is of playing with friends. Its not about winning or loosing, its about fun and love. teamwork.  They continue on playing and for now, there has been no more tears.


Watching my chidren as they have challenges come against them reminds me more and more of how fragile our minds and hearts are... how fragile and full of pride my mind and heart can be and is a lot more than it should be.  Even when we know we are loved deeply and fully by Jesus, how His love covers all our hurts, we still get worked up and at times fall apart.  Anger can sink in and there is that "not good enough" feeling that creeps in.  Even though God's amazing Grace covers us and fills in those holes that we feel we have created. 

We are doing a book study in Life Group at our Church, by  Francis Frangipane called "Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God".   As we dig into Part Two:  The Spirit of Grace, the first paragraph on the page of Chaper Five spoke to me loud

"If you hear a teaching and feel as though it were unattainable in your condition, you have only heard half the message. you missed the grace that is always resident in the heart of God's truth.  Truth without grace is only half true.  Remember this always:  grace and truth are realized in Jesus Christ (John 1:17-For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.)  What God's truth demands, His grace will provide."

I think the past few weeks I have really been forgetting that God is full of Grace.  Loaded to the brim with it.  I have felt definatly less than worthy of God's goodness and to be in His Kingdom.  When I feel like this I feel like hiding from God.  Kinda hard when He is in my heart! I have felt inadequate and very discourraged because I have forgotten about God's Grace...I have said it again and again, and heard it but time and time again latley I never really thought it.  Really sat and reflected on it.  He is a good God and He loves me.  He provides the grace and forgiveness.  I belong to Him and I need to drawn nearer and nearer to Him when I feel inadequate because He is the only one who can make me feel adequate.  His Grace is enough. 

One of the best F words ever!

We have been challenged to share our thoughts on forgiveness with this weeks Walk with Him Wednesday's. 

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

Forgiveness is huge.  Forgiveness releases us from bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy, ooo that whole long list of yucky stuff that creeps in so quick and likes to try and hang around for way past its welcome.
Christ calls us to forgive, and not just to forgive someone when they forget to do something for you, or looses something or lets you down... but the huge things- abuse, rape, murder, violence, constant and more constant hatred.  The people that over and over again enrage you beyond belief... these people need to be forgiven. 

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (NKJV)

I think of how much Christ had to bear for us.  He carried the sins of the whole world.  Thats massive. Thats insane to think of.  He died for OUR sins.  He died for ALL people.  He died for the people who have murdered children, whiped out entire cities, bombed cars, thieves, liars, abusers, gossips, the ones who blatantly deny Him, or jumble His words, the list goes on. 

Isnt that WILD!!!!!!!!!!

It gives me goosebumps to think.  He did all this for us, and when we say to Christ "Im yours, YOU are LORD,  have your way in my life, forgive me of all I have done that isnt in Your likeness Lord Jesus." ... you are clean!  Thats forgiveness.  It is wiped CLEAN. 

Matthew 6:14-16 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)

I honestly still cannot fully grasp it somedays.  How God can be so forgiving.  I have had a hard time letting things go.  I have had a hard time forgiving people sometimes..and you know what, Im horrible at realizing that God forgives me of the things I do to others sometimes, those things I do that are NOT like Him.  Im so glad His ways are not my ways.  He has such a better grasp on things than we ever will.  Its amazing.  I am very glad to have His forgiveness and I am glad I get to forgive others with His strength and wisdom, to live a life in freedom.  To live a life with Him and to grow more and more each day.  And if it wasnt for His forgiveness, it couldnt happen.  :)  Forgiveness is freedom, along with Faith ...they are the best F words ever!!!!

Praise for Jesus- Walk with Him Wednesday

I used to write songs when I was a teenager, about being angry at the world, how nothing mattered.  I would scream into a microphone random rage.  Amplifers were cranked, distortion full blast. 

I have a very hard time writing for Jesus.  I dont know if its just because the journals and journals of music I wrote before were so angry, or what it is.  I have picked up my guitar on more than one occasion in my walk with Christ.  I have sang many songs that are not my own.  The past little while I felt Jesus nudging me to just play.  To play and sing to Him, about Him, about my walk.  Everytime I attempted too I got discouraged.  Our 12 string has strings missing, goes out of tune so very often... (kinda sounds like me some days)

Evenings after the kids go to bed, I usually put on worship music, new and old, and just relax. 

This past Friday night I was trying to learn a song on the guitar, and it wasnt working, I decided that I would play random notes and remembering Ann's post from this day,  I realized that in this moment could be time for worship.   It didnt all flow perfect at times, but I felt such a presence of our Lord. Even in the parts I edited out, where I didnt even know what to say, It felt right.   I wanted to share some of it with you. 

Our Church received a program for my daughters class to talk about worship.  I found this out on Sunday.  I thought, how funny is this that something that has been on my heart is now also going to be taught in her class!  We can really start to have conversations on it.  She was up in her room Monday with our guitar, writing songs for Jesus.  Just songs on how wonderful He has been to her, just regular conversations of thanks.  So simple and beautiful.  They just flowed.  She knows no chords, she doesnt know exactically how to hold this big instrument in her six year old hands,

 but it was still beautiful praise...

This is I think where worship is at for me right now.  To be free in it, to be free in Christ to raise my hands if I feel the urge, to kneel, to dance and laugh or cry and weap.  Worship has so many emotions in it.  They are not just melodies and lyrics, there is feeling and prayer to them as well.  If we are just harmonizing with those around us, but not focused on bringing glory to Christ, then are we doing it right?  I love it when the harmonizing is between me and Jesus.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ~ Colossians 3:16

Not everyone sings on key, or can play even a beat.  Some people sing quiet, or belt it out. Some with hymn books, others with projection screens and new music, some original, some inspired, some with drums and electric guitar, others with organ and piano.  I dont think it matters.  Singing in your car, singing in the shower, humming as you lull young ones to sleep.  All of it can be praise to God.  It doesnt matter how you sound to those around you... it matters though that you are doing it for HIM.  I think thats what He has been trying to show me

My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. ~ Psalm 71:23