Wednesday, January 25, 2012

When your 2012 impossible list is already shrinking

One of the things God asks His children to do is to trust Him.  To come to Him with all our stuff and to let Him have His way.   What a better way to show God our love for Him than to trust Him fully.  To know that He loves us THAT much to put even our biggest fears and prayers in His hands. 

At the begining of the year our church family started to write out our "impossible" lists.  Lists of prayer requests to pray to God, to allow Him to turn the impossible into the possible.   I wrote about some of this a bit earlier this think its only January 25 and already things are being checked off. 

God is faithful.  I sit here awestruck.  Sometimes we forget how powerful He is.  Sometimes we think its going to take way longer than we hope... sometimes it does, but when God leaps and moves like fire and just says "done done done" in a matter of a week or so, you cant help but sit jaw open and just be in awe of His awesomeness. 

This living God moves and when He does we roar in praise because of its power.

A mere 10 or so days ago I wrote about how I was still feeling very tired.  I confess this to my church family, to those of you who read my blog, my family and friends.  People start to pray, I start to pray.  I start to know God will give me strength. 

The scripture comes.  The peace arrives and I wake up in the moring able to take care of my kids, my home and my husband.  I am able to be my husbands helper, I am able to make a dinner without clicking on a pizza joint online.  Its able to get done.  Praise be to God. 

My husband has been planning on going on a missions trip this coming April/May in Rwanda.   A week ago he sat back in his computer chair and looked at me, as a deadline for the money for the flight bumped up and he said "theres no way I can go."  When your husband works part time and thats your income, and you need more than what he makes in a month in a matter of days, things looked really grim.  He decided sadly, and with a very heavy uncomforted heart he wouldnt be able to go.  My husband was heartbroken, felt like a failure but in the end decided now was the time to start changing the way things were happening and start planning for the next one.  Then God moved.  Almost like He was waiting for my husband to learn a lesson in this process.  God is always teaching.

We recieved a phone call from our pastor yesterday morning, and an annon. person paid for my husbands flight!!! seriously??!! say what!!   My husband sat forever just in awe of God.  Shocked.  We are both still awestruck.  Like what more is there to say than we serve and awesome God?  He just takes care of every little detail, even the ones we think are not to be concerned with anymore. 

Mark 11:24~ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

God, You are awesome. 

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Craving Eden

I have laid in bed awake for the past three nights.  Im one of these types of people who will pray something out to God but at the same time act out a scenario of what ifs for that situation.  I have ADD prayers.  I need things to work out in my head, but latley they dont always so clearly.  Being still and knowing that God will show me the way is the way I end up eventually falling asleep.. but He has a lot to teach me about paitience too!  So here I write, while I should be sleeping!

You know when God places situations in your life when you think you are the one that is going to do the helping, then realize God has placed certain things in your life to help you? Just when I think I have it figured out enough that I can help someone else in their walk, God throws me a curve ball! LOL   This has been happening to me more and more latley as I am trying to grasp the fact that "if the Son sets you free, You are free indeed."  Free from what?  Sin? ofcourse!  But also Jesus came to break us free from all things that God didnt intend for us to have.  

So I have begun to really crave really just studying this amazing wonderful Jesus, God's Heart that has come down from heaven to say "look, I just want to be your best friend, your helper, your everything you need." 

Why do we as Christians (perhaps not all) not come to God like little children anymore?  Why did we have to make things so complicated! 

Why is it that we think we need to do things a certain way, by a certain belief system to reach God?  Ultimatly if Jesus was God, then God is the way.  So approaching God in love, thats His way is it not? 

Oooo how there is so much God has to teach me,  and I come to Him craving what He created in the first place- Eden, a place where it was just a relationship.  Hanging out with the Creator.  The Great I-Am.   Can you imagine, just knowing Gods presence is right there next to you?  Jesus came to basically say we can have that still... was He not?  God with us?  Holy Spirit?  Am I missing something?  I always thought Jesus' only reason for coming down was to save us from our sins... which He did and I am so thankful.  But the more and more I read I realize there was more that He did that I practically never catch... He came to free us from a lot more. He came to free us from ourselves I guess you can say.

 We can get caught up more on the approach than God at the other end.  I think this is where we miss the mark. 

Will this be something I can conclude as fact?  I have no idea my head is still spinning, and I know this is going to take more than a few Bible studies and talks with God to grasp.  Its going to be a process that I know only God is going to be able to provide answers for.  And God will, because God can.  God can achieve the impossible.  He does it all the time!


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Psalm 127:3 (AMP): Behold children are a gift of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Thank You Lord for the blessing of a new child.  Thankyou for a heart that beats strong and the continuous watch you have over this child within. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

He wont fill my cup half way.

Pregnancy has never been that good to me.  I laid in bed this morning, sobbing to my husband in his arms, just saddened because I woke up after a day of such declaration of Gods promises in such a bad mood, headache and depressed.  Pregnancy is not good to me.
My God has always been good to me though...

We have been praying for God to heal my body.  Our bodies can react so bizzare to carrying a life within us. There is no reason God cant heal my sickness, the nausea, and hormone influctions that make me tired, overwhelmed and defeated.  

I havent been sick.  Its been I dont know how many days, but God did heal my nausea, and I am so so so thankful that He did.  You have no idea (or maybe you do) how good it feels that I dont have to know where the nearest bucket is, or nearest bathroom is to be sick.  The last three pregnancies I had I was sick the whole nine months, everyday.  Thank You God for my healing. 

The past week or so though my emotions and fatigue have been horrid.  I have little motivation and dont want to do much of anything.  I have wanted to quit the things I do because Im just not feeling anything really happy most of the time.   As a result, my home is suffering. I have told horrifying scary tales of our laundry situation... oh laundry... how I do truly dislike you. 

Our pastor said on Sunday in a meeting as I asked for prayer for this that God doesnt fill us half way... and its true.  I asked for healing.  I asked in the name of Jesus that I would have a wonderful joyous pregnancy and Jesus said "ask and you shall recieve". 

I am going to receieve my joyous pregnancy.  Even in these times where things seem clouded over, that I am not being heard by my Father in Heaven.  Jesus said it was finished... and I have to declare that over my body, over my mind, my home. 

We are God's children.  Even if I felt like garbage yesterday or even this morning God's giving me my healing.  Its coming, its already here.   

I wanna give Him the glory.  Over and over and over.  He has rescued me from the deepest depressions, the biggest craziest moments in life and the smallest and I have learned so much about His character through them, and my own.  He just loves me to peices. 

Even if I feel cruddy for another four weeks... isnt it enough to know that God is sitting right next to me, rubbing my back, singing to me... declaring over His child that I would rest in Him and He will take care of me. 

Maybe through this I am going to have the biggest revelation of my life... so I shouldnt be saddened... yes I am praying that I wont be sick..period... but still... if God is allowing it to happen...there is a reason right! 
There is always a reason.  Always always always. 

Im struggling with some.  But God isnt.  He knows.  I love that! 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" - video

I found this video on my feed on Facebook today through a page I "like".
I watched it and was in near tears just agreeing with this guy, over and over again.
I wanted to share it if you havent seen it.  This is how I see Christ.
I have a relationship, not a religion.  I seek the one who will always be there to help me.  Its like calling a friend across the road... thats not religion.  I dont follow a set of rituals..while I know there are things Jesus would rather me not do for the good of myself or others - kill, hate, envy etc... these are things a parent would teach a child (we'd hope).  My father in heaven loves ME for ME and wants to be with me every step of the way in my life.  THATS who Jesus is to me.  Thats my God.  I hate denominations, I hate religious arguements and I have had a few of them myself that I regret terribly, but the more and more I grow in Christ and He covers my weaknesses, I learn that all Jesus wants us to do is LOVE like He loves.  He loves everyone...especially the ones who no one else bothers to love.  Thats who Christ is. 
Thats who I stand by.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

These He "cans" are becoming He "will's"

I sit back and reflect on 2011 and I realize just how huge 2011 was for us as a family.  So much happened, so much went on that its hard to even remember it all. 
My husband came to know Christ.  He is now following the Lord, praise God.  God is so worthy of praise.  This past year has been a real discovery of Gods holiness and how He can work in His people.  Its amazing, the prayers answered, the testimonies abroad.  The tears with God, the laughter, the late night conversations that seemed to come out of know where.  Waking up praying and not even sure what for.  His Spirit just flowing.  Watching my relationship with God grow, sometimes I wouldn't listen to Him.  There were moments in this past year God wasnt first. 
This year God has to be first, every single day.  It cant be about me, it has to be about Him. 
At church we are writing our "impossible" list... the list we are going to pray over the next year, and when we walk into church January 2nd 2013, we are going to hold up those lists and know that God answered prayer.  A few of the things that I have scribbled across the page is that God CAN give me a pregancy where I have energy, no depression and no morning sickness.  God CAN heal cancer.  God CAN bring loved ones to know Him.  Dispite having only part time income my husband CAN afford to go to Rwanda.  These cans, can turn into wills.  I am praying into it every moment of 2012. 

This year I want to be really raw with God.  I want to just seep into Him and just dwell in Him in every moment.  This year is going to be a big year!  My husband has plans to go on a missions trip in April to Rwanda, we are expecting another baby in the summer- that will be number 4!!-  My "Pat-in-law" (My Mother inlaws partner) will be continuing on for chemo and radiation for lung cancer.  We are praying and know that God can heal cancer and that cancer, while seems huge to us,  is NOTHING for Him to handle.  

Jeremiah 32:17
 Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You.

This has to be the year that I get that... that I really grasp that this is true.  I mean, I have held onto this truth, but I mean, I need to do it moment by moment.   Day by day, everyday, through everything. 

This is the year to start declaring the promises God has for us.  To stop making assumptions and pressing in and knowing God does take care of His children. 

This year is going to be big.  But with God it wont be impossible.