Wednesday, November 9, 2011

His Grace.

My daughter picks up knitting again and again, trying to knit something, anything.  Her gauge much too wide, then much to tight.  Tears flow and she feels like she is the worst knitter in the world.  She is reminded that she isnt the worst, but learning, and even the best most accomplished knitters in the world started off just like that.  I remind her of the beautiful yarn she spun only a week ago, beautiful colours, the weight of the yarn, wispy then worsted, fingering to bulky.  She asks if that is okay.  It is okay because it is her expression of how that roving should spin.  People pay loads of money for yarn that is purposefully made to be a bit crazy... It doesnt have to be streamlined perfect.  Its art yarn!  Shifting our view of what she created to a different perspective from it being a bunch of mistakes to something beautiful. 

Its been warm, the kids run outside in t-shirts on the 8th November day (although a sweater would probably be better). Still tempted to run outside barefoot while laughing histarically at eachothers ideas and excitement.  Our two year old outside in winter boots, a t-shirt and a Canadian.  These kids love to be outside. My son cries because he didnt win the one race, and there has to be a discussion on what the importance is of playing with friends. Its not about winning or loosing, its about fun and love. teamwork.  They continue on playing and for now, there has been no more tears.

Watching my chidren as they have challenges come against them reminds me more and more of how fragile our minds and hearts are... how fragile and full of pride my mind and heart can be and is a lot more than it should be.  Even when we know we are loved deeply and fully by Jesus, how His love covers all our hurts, we still get worked up and at times fall apart.  Anger can sink in and there is that "not good enough" feeling that creeps in.  Even though God's amazing Grace covers us and fills in those holes that we feel we have created. 

We are doing a book study in Life Group at our Church, by  Francis Frangipane called "Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God".   As we dig into Part Two:  The Spirit of Grace, the first paragraph on the page of Chaper Five spoke to me loud

"If you hear a teaching and feel as though it were unattainable in your condition, you have only heard half the message. you missed the grace that is always resident in the heart of God's truth.  Truth without grace is only half true.  Remember this always:  grace and truth are realized in Jesus Christ (John 1:17-For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.)  What God's truth demands, His grace will provide."

I think the past few weeks I have really been forgetting that God is full of Grace.  Loaded to the brim with it.  I have felt definatly less than worthy of God's goodness and to be in His Kingdom.  When I feel like this I feel like hiding from God.  Kinda hard when He is in my heart! I have felt inadequate and very discourraged because I have forgotten about God's Grace...I have said it again and again, and heard it but time and time again latley I never really thought it.  Really sat and reflected on it.  He is a good God and He loves me.  He provides the grace and forgiveness.  I belong to Him and I need to drawn nearer and nearer to Him when I feel inadequate because He is the only one who can make me feel adequate.  His Grace is enough.

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