My children, all three of them, left at the end of June to go on a two week vacation with my Mother and her husband to the Ottawa Valley to their home so my husband and I could get some relaxation time and prepare for Miss. Tehillah-Joy. We got a lot accomplished, as well as had many days of relaxation, beach, dinner, festivals and movies.
But it was like daily a piece of me was missing, like someone had taken off an arm of mine or something..that body part Mothers don't realize they have till its cut off. Our kids.
While it was a bitter-sweet few weeks, it was quiet, no fighting, no five am wake ups etc... it was still beyond hard at times and quite honestly there wasn't a moment that went by where I didn't think of them.
There was a desperation almost in my heart... and as I laid there in bed one of the nights feeling a little lost I realized this must be how God feels towards His children who have yet to come to Him or who have gone away. Or the ones who (like me at times) only trust Him with certain things but have yet to let go, or forget to give things to Him.
God created us not because He needed us, but because He wants us. He wants to shower us with love and show us the greatest relationship we could ever have. He gets excited to help us and have fellowship with us. Not one of us does He not want to love on, share with and provide for. He wants to teach us and show us easier ways to live- through His Son. So many times we struggle and struggle and feel as though things aren't going our way, but I feel as though Holy Spirit is just swirling going "Let Me in and let Me help you! You were not created to handle this on your own. I wanna help you, it would be My pleasure!"
And not for just five minutes, or trial to trial but in every. single. thing. While following Christ may not always be easy, how it feels sometimes we are swimming against the current, having Holy Spirit in your heart gives you the courage and strength to do it because you know where He is taking you always ends up in the perfect place when you look back.
and Oh, how His arms are always open to those who run to Him. I did and do crazy things time to time and when I humbled myself enough to know that my ways are not the best way (most times! LOL) He was there to take me up on His lap and say "Lets try it this way. Watch and see."
Its almost like He whispers it to me like a Father whispers to His child "Wanna go have icecream?" ... my husband will do this when we are going to go out for a treat to our sons, our three year old especially, and its so quiet, but so blunt and powerful to him and the smile starts and the giggles start and he jumps up and is so ready to go. That's how I feel when I feel the presence of God ready to start something. When that light bulb comes on you cant help but giggle. When you feel that stirring and you cant help but smile and praise Him. He smiles too in this. I promise it.