Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Three becomes four and the household shifts...
Its been one week since Tehillah-Joy made her way out of my womb and into a warm pool of water in our dining room, surrounded by love and joy. I prayed for this little girl for a year before she was conceived, I prayed for her through the entire pregnancy, the ups and the downs. Surrounded by support and love, the frustrating times became easier and the joyful times were beautiful.
Her relationship with me is one that requires warmth, security, protection and a breast. I cannot take my eyes off her, she has totally captivated me, and totally activated awe towards her small hands and feet. When they are that small, and so dependant on you, ones life becomes one easily sacrificed to tend to their every need. Through exhaustion that I cant even call exhaustion because its such a negative word.... I am tired, very tired, but its a tiredness I don't even think I can complain about today. Its a tiredness worth had because I spend the night cuddling a nursing one week old tiny girl and got up early to take our children to play at the park.
She is our fourth. And I feel this way towards all of them. When our three year old begins to do something hillarious (or something sneaky but with one eye brow raised) I cant help but feel so in love with that kid, even if it is something he does that is wrong. While he needs to be disciplined, afterwards one cant help but chuckle... sometimes from the fact that there is just nothing else you can do!
Our five year old learned how to ride his bike without training wheels this week... on his own, without the help of my husband and I. Now he books it around the neighborhood, going over tree roots as jumps, a plastic bottle stuck in the back wheel so it sounds like a motor bike. The smile and determination in his face as he shares all he has done brings so much joy.
Our seven year old. What a help she has been since Tehillah-Joy came into our lives. She is very willing to help with her, and even more willing these days to help with her brothers which before was a bit of an eye roller for her. She loves to assist in the little things and it just seems she is growing up so fast before our eyes. Looking at her baby book the other day makes us realize just how far Alexis has come. Her love of Christ grows more and more, her questions and smiles make us proud parents.
There are days I want to pull my hair out. There are nights where bedtime cannot come fast enough. But it doesn't matter. These four children still bring me so much joy. My patience gets better each day. I have said it before that I firmly believe God has put this calling of being a Mother and a wife and homemaker in my lap and while I may need a bit of help in the homemaking department I want to use these relationships in my life to glorify the Lord. He gave me these gifts. And they are gifts...
The Message (MSG)
3-5 Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.
Its almost as though this little girl has renewed that within me, within the entire household. A shift has clearly happened in our home. Things are much busier, more laundry (especially with cloth diapers!), less sleep, more cleaning... but it feels as though things are easier. Perhaps its because I am no longer hugely pregnant and running to the bathroom every ten minutes... whatever the reason I am so very thankful to God for blessing us with these beautiful children who I get the privilege of having a relationship with.