journey...

what do you do when you feel God calling you from the center of your being, from the Spirit He deposited in you that there is going to be a "revival" within yourself?  There are curtains of thought, and curtains of doubt and curtains of anger and ego... but in the deep of yourself Holy Spirit stirs and says "watch"
When the most colourful dreams begin to happen as you slumber
When your eight year old daughter has visions. 
When all tradition, all effort to strive against the grain, splintering your being is called to stop.  To be still because its though the Spirit within that love spills forth and makes it effortless even when its hard.  
When things you never thought you would be excited for, make your spirit stir hard and tears flow and you want to dance.  Free.
When you read Jesus in a whole new angle.  Oh sweet Jesus....

How He has called us to an amazing journey.  
Holy Spirit dancing within, guiding, teaching.  

We need only to listen. 

The habit of seeking Him

I often read a lot.  Too much maybe?  I read about Bible history, I read my Bible a lot, different denominational views of things, early Christian writings, opinions, thoughts, epiphanies.  I read and search.

I think with myself as well as many others I am just trying to see who I fit in with most.  Sometimes I feel as though some others just don't see Christ the way I do.  I don't always share my views with many, only because I am afraid my view would be wronged by others and they would make my Jesus "small."  I think this is in itself the reason why there are so many different buildings and church denominations to begin with?  Everyone seeking to make their Christ work and sometimes we just don't always agree.

I look back at how I have done this to others.  I feel guilty about it.  I have really come to a place where I really have come to embrace different ways to Christ, however I have never fully found a group of people who see Christ exactly the way I do.  My husband and I in fact have very different ways to approach Christ.  The Bible speaks to us quite differently about the Word of God who is Jesus.  We know one thing for sure, He came for us, to die for us and save us and gives us new life.  He seeks a relationship with us and loves us more than we could ever love Him back.

We attend a church filled with people all from different backgrounds, upbringings all hungry for Christ. I bet we all have different ways of approaching and being in fellowship with our God.

But to approach Him humbly, to say "I don't understand all Your ways.  But I pray that as You guide me with the Holy Spirit that I will come to go deeper into relationship with You."

This is a habit I think so vital.

I do not think He gets upset if our opinions are different, as long as we are seeking Him.

This is a habit I crave.  To get up each morning, and seek Him.  When I wake up in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, to listen for Him.  In each step embrace His guidance, not worrying if I am wrong or not.

I have messed up, been confused, and yet, He has always shown me it has to be about Him.  Just being still and knowing its not ever about me.  But Himself in us, His light shining forth.

1000 gifts for 2013. Yes please

Last year was crazy.  2012 we saw impossible things happen, God move in His mighty ways, gentle ways, blunt ways... He's amazing. 

We started this year off rocky.  I'm going to really try to take the emphasis off me and put it on Him for the next year.  Our journeys with Christ are all so different.  He is going to take us all through some amazing things this year.  I want ALL the glory to be on Him.  Refreshed, jumping back into His springs of peace and joy and striving forward to make this year being in Him.  Never needing to call out loud for Him, just being still and knowing His Spirit is closer than I am to myself.  What an amazing God.
So I start refreshed, joining Ann and the many others counting to 1000 this year to our 1000 gifts.
Starting again at #1.  Gifts from the One.

1. long games of "war" with my daughter and husband.  Who knew a card game could go on for so long!
2. Cookie Monster songs with my 3 year old
3. An insane hunger for the words of Christ Himself.
4. Operating in the places God wants me to operate and doing it with His strength
5. Realizing just how insanely I need the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, words and thoughts,
6. Being tremendously honest with myself and others
7. Wrestling with the husband.  Laughing into hystarics
8. My son singing his version of Christmas songs
9. Our baby, sounding kinda like an excited dinosaur on the floor.  Learning to use her beautiful voice.  Children are such a gift
10.Not so perfect shots caught on camera.  Children who wont sit still.  Life constantly moving.  We can never capture it all
11. Cups of Chamomile tea with the kids at bedtime.  Quiet giggles
12. Stress... because it gives us an opportunity to fall into the arms of Love
13. ultrasounds from afar, watching a life within a life growing.
14. the messy amazing journey's God will take you on this year.
15. the messy amazing journey God will take me on this year
16. questions
17. letting the wee baby try some banana... nope not interested.
18. 2 Timothy 1:7-  needing a calm and well balanced mind- a goal for this year
19. triple rainbows in vivid dreams.  Scriptures given.
20 dance parties in the kitchen
21. new babies
22 Refusing to sing along, standing stubborn on a Sunday morning with so much anger.  God melting it allll away.  And just surrendering deep into Him
23. babies falling asleep on the floor.
24- butterscotch coffee.  Oh yes its happening
25- my oldest daughter mistaking pumpkin pie spice for cinnamon and making toast.  She says it was delicious
26- my three year old just making a sugar sandwich... that's not nutritious.
27- Baby trying so hard to be mobile.  She's figuring it out
28- Conversations about God with my husband.
29- Digging deeper