Sunday, June 3, 2012

My name is Candace and Im an overcomplicator

I make faith complicated sometimes.  I made God complicated sometimes.  I make Christianity complicated sometimes.  My walk with God has been my own.  I claim it.  But I definatly have not made it easy on myself. 

When I see God in His creation,  When I hear God in music, when I see God in the littlest things in life and see that joy overflowing into all around.  When I feel His Spirit surround me during worship or in the still of an evening as the wind blows over my sheets.  When that feeling that comes over me when someone is speaking truth and I KNOW its from God Himself, when I know Im reading that part of Scripture and as the words speak life into my heart I know those words are for me in that moment.... I give thanks but its not long before my mind wants to overcomplicate.  Perhaps its the way of the enemy trying to steal the simple things God blesses me with.  Too often I find myself knealing down asking, begging God to return to me what was lost, and generally its those little things I have totally disregarded as I have sunk myself into a big huge people mess that I dont believe Jesus ever intended us to seek.

My name is Candace and Im an overcomplicator

I read an amazing blog post that was titled Jesus is Not A System the other day.  And I started to think about how systematic I have made God in the past.  Not by anyones fault but my own.  I think our world makes things out to be so complicated and yet Jesus wasn't overly complicated. But because we are sometimes taught by society that "its complicated", Jesus becomes complicated too.  He spoke love, He shared that love and relationship was the easiest and most and only sufficient way to the Father. 

I started to fear for my children.  Will they ever overcomplicate Christ?  Will they ever try and systematically make Him work?  How can a person force another person, who is God to "work" .  His ways are so much more infinate than our ways.  Will they always just embrace and trust and walk with such knowing that He is their best friend?  Will they spend hours and hours online reading a million different opinions on who Jesus was (like I have) instead of just being still and knowing who He is to them?  Jesus never rushes and yet everything is accomplished

Will they settle for "this is good enough" or hunger for Him daily?

I would never wish upon my children an "easy" faith per say.  I would never want them to just skip through their walk.  Trials are important and testing is important and searching is so important.  But to overcomplicate even that?  No way.  A trial is a trial, a test is a test for Gods purposes.  To search for Christ is to find something new about Him.  Is it possible to embrace even in these times? If so I wish this for them. I wish this even for myself to be honest.  I think embrace is my new favorite word.  To embrace Christ in everything, and to not complicate Him.   Can that be my new motto?

Perhaps the boys espeically will follow their Dad in their walk with Christ.  My husband doesn't complicate Jesus.  He reads who Jesus was, and is and thats it.   Theres no contemplating about anything.  Its "This is Jesus."  Its so pure and simple and beautiful.  And its funny because God blesses Him just as much as He does me, the one who has spent hours trying to "figure it out" or have peoples opinions figuring it out for me. 

I never want Jesus to be a stressor to my children. 

I want them to embrace.  I want to embrace.  Because friends embrace eachother.  And thats a very awesome part of Jesus.

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