Thursday, June 7, 2012
Embracing Jesus. One Red Letter Paragraph At A Time
Over the past little while you may have noticed that I am trying to embark outward into a new bold crazy mysterious journey in my faith. To really try to get my feet firmly planted again. I feel for too long it has been a wishy washy in my journey with Christ.
While I know I love Jesus. Like..I LOVE JESUS. God is on my mind more than anything all day, I feel as though I need a jolt.
I have claimed this journey as my own, hand in hand with Christ... sometimes though I start seeking the hands of others, and their Jesus thoughts... let me explain.
While I decided long ago I would avoid debating the crazy stuff, the tough things in Christianity that cause more division than unity, now I face another delima. That because I try not to let this stuff get to me, I have now sought after other people who have felt the same way- who are standing firm hands raised sending out a cry of joy saying "this is my journey, not yours, and He will guide me, not you."
Now in searching for these people, I find myself reading their thoughts and while sometimes I sit at my computer screen or the book I am reading and screaming YES!! I also find myself comparing my journey to theirs, as if to say 'oh well she thinks this way but is seeking Him in a similar way to me.. maybe I am wrong." I have even changed my mind about something I was so sure about because someone elses journey and that opinion they had was so convincing, then I fall down broken.
See how that can get messy? No one has EVER told me to think this way, infact, I have always had very supportive people in my walk with Jesus, who have really shown me Christ can approach us in different ways, and they have always been supportive. Where these thoughts and ideas of how I see the world came from I dont exactically know, but I know that it can at times hinder my walk with Jesus.
So tonight I laid in bed with our three year old and his spiderman and decided I needed to spend less time in the opinions of others, even if they are similar to mine. That perhaps I just need to not be so involved in social media discussions, or blogging discussions... That I need to really unplug from even community online in order to seek Christ and know who I am in Him. Im thirsty and hungry, I am weary. Jesus says to me "come to me"
His words can anchor me
It never comes down to what church body you attend, or how you define a certain aspect of scripture. It never comes down to if you worship with your hands held high or you sit quietly in your seat. It never comes down to if you are shy in your walk or you scream it from the rooftops
It never comes down to anything but Christ.
When I start to feel confused, its never His fault. Its the fault of me seeking Him through the wrong avenues. Im not saying that reading blogs are wrong, or to hear people's testimonies are wrong. If we never heard a persons testimony, we wouldnt have the New Testament. I LOVE hearing about a persons relationship with Jesus Christ. What I am saying is that in order for me to firmly plant myself in Him (again and again), it has to be from Him. From His breath, from His words. If these avenues I am seeking at the end of the day are not making me feel more strengthened in my faith then why right now do I spend so much time seeking Him on them? God is not the author of confusion. He said that.
I have decided to start a blog post "series" entitled "Embracing Jesus. One Red Letter Paragraph At A Time". This is not to convince anyone to see things my way. This is not for anyone to think I am a Biblical Scholar, or have it all figured out.
This is my goal: To take each paragraph that is in those beautiful red letters, the words of Christ Himself, and to meditate on them. To see what He wants to say to me in that section of scripture. To write it down and to really discuss it with Him. To not move on from that scripture until He says. I want to share them here on my blog, not so someone would ever want to compare their walk with Christ with mine because I think when we do that, since I have done that so often, we miss out on the hugeness of Christ.
I want it to be a time of intimacy, of thought and meditation, prayer and excitement. To rediscover Christ over again in a way I havent before.
So here I go...