what do you do when you feel God calling you from the center of your being, from the Spirit He deposited in you that there is going to be a "revival" within yourself? There are curtains of thought, and curtains of doubt and curtains of anger and ego... but in the deep of yourself Holy Spirit stirs and says "watch"
When the most colourful dreams begin to happen as you slumber
When your eight year old daughter has visions.
When all tradition, all effort to strive against the grain, splintering your being is called to stop. To be still because its though the Spirit within that love spills forth and makes it effortless even when its hard.
When things you never thought you would be excited for, make your spirit stir hard and tears flow and you want to dance. Free.
When you read Jesus in a whole new angle. Oh sweet Jesus....
How He has called us to an amazing journey.
Holy Spirit dancing within, guiding, teaching.
We need only to listen.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
The habit of seeking Him
I often read a lot. Too much maybe? I read about Bible history, I read my Bible a lot, different denominational views of things, early Christian writings, opinions, thoughts, epiphanies. I read and search.
I think with myself as well as many others I am just trying to see who I fit in with most. Sometimes I feel as though some others just don't see Christ the way I do. I don't always share my views with many, only because I am afraid my view would be wronged by others and they would make my Jesus "small." I think this is in itself the reason why there are so many different buildings and church denominations to begin with? Everyone seeking to make their Christ work and sometimes we just don't always agree.
I look back at how I have done this to others. I feel guilty about it. I have really come to a place where I really have come to embrace different ways to Christ, however I have never fully found a group of people who see Christ exactly the way I do. My husband and I in fact have very different ways to approach Christ. The Bible speaks to us quite differently about the Word of God who is Jesus. We know one thing for sure, He came for us, to die for us and save us and gives us new life. He seeks a relationship with us and loves us more than we could ever love Him back.
We attend a church filled with people all from different backgrounds, upbringings all hungry for Christ. I bet we all have different ways of approaching and being in fellowship with our God.
But to approach Him humbly, to say "I don't understand all Your ways. But I pray that as You guide me with the Holy Spirit that I will come to go deeper into relationship with You."
This is a habit I think so vital.
I do not think He gets upset if our opinions are different, as long as we are seeking Him.
This is a habit I crave. To get up each morning, and seek Him. When I wake up in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, to listen for Him. In each step embrace His guidance, not worrying if I am wrong or not.
I have messed up, been confused, and yet, He has always shown me it has to be about Him. Just being still and knowing its not ever about me. But Himself in us, His light shining forth.
I think with myself as well as many others I am just trying to see who I fit in with most. Sometimes I feel as though some others just don't see Christ the way I do. I don't always share my views with many, only because I am afraid my view would be wronged by others and they would make my Jesus "small." I think this is in itself the reason why there are so many different buildings and church denominations to begin with? Everyone seeking to make their Christ work and sometimes we just don't always agree.
I look back at how I have done this to others. I feel guilty about it. I have really come to a place where I really have come to embrace different ways to Christ, however I have never fully found a group of people who see Christ exactly the way I do. My husband and I in fact have very different ways to approach Christ. The Bible speaks to us quite differently about the Word of God who is Jesus. We know one thing for sure, He came for us, to die for us and save us and gives us new life. He seeks a relationship with us and loves us more than we could ever love Him back.
We attend a church filled with people all from different backgrounds, upbringings all hungry for Christ. I bet we all have different ways of approaching and being in fellowship with our God.
But to approach Him humbly, to say "I don't understand all Your ways. But I pray that as You guide me with the Holy Spirit that I will come to go deeper into relationship with You."
This is a habit I think so vital.
I do not think He gets upset if our opinions are different, as long as we are seeking Him.
This is a habit I crave. To get up each morning, and seek Him. When I wake up in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, to listen for Him. In each step embrace His guidance, not worrying if I am wrong or not.
I have messed up, been confused, and yet, He has always shown me it has to be about Him. Just being still and knowing its not ever about me. But Himself in us, His light shining forth.
Monday, January 7, 2013
1000 gifts for 2013. Yes please
Last year was crazy. 2012 we saw impossible things happen, God move in His mighty ways, gentle ways, blunt ways... He's amazing.
So I start refreshed, joining Ann and the many others counting to 1000 this year to our 1000 gifts.
Starting again at #1. Gifts from the One.
1. long games of "war" with my daughter and husband. Who knew a card game could go on for so long!
2. Cookie Monster songs with my 3 year old
3. An insane hunger for the words of Christ Himself.
4. Operating in the places God wants me to operate and doing it with His strength
5. Realizing just how insanely I need the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, words and thoughts,
6. Being tremendously honest with myself and others
7. Wrestling with the husband. Laughing into hystarics
8. My son singing his version of Christmas songs
9. Our baby, sounding kinda like an excited dinosaur on the floor. Learning to use her beautiful voice. Children are such a gift
10.Not so perfect shots caught on camera. Children who wont sit still. Life constantly moving. We can never capture it all
11. Cups of Chamomile tea with the kids at bedtime. Quiet giggles
12. Stress... because it gives us an opportunity to fall into the arms of Love
13. ultrasounds from afar, watching a life within a life growing.
14. the messy amazing journey's God will take you on this year.
15. the messy amazing journey God will take me on this year
16. questions
17. letting the wee baby try some banana... nope not interested.
18. 2 Timothy 1:7- needing a calm and well balanced mind- a goal for this year
19. triple rainbows in vivid dreams. Scriptures given.
20 dance parties in the kitchen
21. new babies
22 Refusing to sing along, standing stubborn on a Sunday morning with so much anger. God melting it allll away. And just surrendering deep into Him
23. babies falling asleep on the floor.
24- butterscotch coffee. Oh yes its happening
25- my oldest daughter mistaking pumpkin pie spice for cinnamon and making toast. She says it was delicious
26- my three year old just making a sugar sandwich... that's not nutritious.
27- Baby trying so hard to be mobile. She's figuring it out
28- Conversations about God with my husband.
29- Digging deeper
Monday, December 24, 2012
this baby...
A Baby who came in, while Mothers cried for their sons, and Fathers grasped to understand. A baby who came in while selfishness, greed, and hatred raged. Love comes down and while its been said a million times, it will forever be said again and again.
No one knows how much He weighed but He would carry the weight of our sins on His shoulders. It was finished before it started.
This baby who smelt like birth, fresh and new. Mary breathed Him in as He was wrapped in cloth in the stink of her surroundings. A new plan that was never new, it was decided upon before the first pages of the Bible said "In the beginning." This baby, who would raise with the scent of spikenard because before His hands would be pierced, His Spirit pierced the heart of a woman, and pierced the heart of all those so furious enough to have Him be nailed to a cross.
He touched every single person He came in contact with. This King, came in the most humble way, laid in a trough that was made of the very stones or branches He created, nursed by a woman He molded with His hands.
This King. My Jesus.
Only He could consume the entire Universe with His presence, create billions of galaxies. The mountains tremble and the oaks twist, and yet He became a cell and consumed a womb and burst forth for salvation for many.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Who I am...
My goal as this year is nearing an end I am spending it not in the Christmas story but in Ephesians Colossians and John. I am in this space right now where Christ is so huge and so massive that I cannot just fit Him in a manger this year. His glory is contained there yet He spills out. I look at our nativity scene and that baby laying there is so big to me.
I started out in Ephesians and just started reading and not only am I reading about how amazing Jesus is, but the promises I have as His child. I thought this was pretty cool. Sometimes I feel I go through these phases where I don't quite understand it all but Ephesians makes it pretty clear to me what Christ has promised His children and even though I am not really blogging right now I wanted to post it because it is pretty amazing.
Who we are in Christ
I started out in Ephesians and just started reading and not only am I reading about how amazing Jesus is, but the promises I have as His child. I thought this was pretty cool. Sometimes I feel I go through these phases where I don't quite understand it all but Ephesians makes it pretty clear to me what Christ has promised His children and even though I am not really blogging right now I wanted to post it because it is pretty amazing.
Who we are in Christ
We are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, chosen in Him before the foundation of the world, predestined to adoption as a daughter (or son) by Jesus to Himself. His Grace is what makes us accepted in the Beloved. We are redeemed by His blood, forgiven by His Grace. We have obtained an inheritance, predestined according to His purpose. We are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise because we trusted Jesus who is the guarantee of our inheritance. We are made alive in Him. We can do NOTHING (emphasis added because I struggle with this one) to be saved it is a GIFT He has given. We are His masterpiece created in Christ to do the good things God prepared beforehand for us to do. We have Christ as our peace and we are united with Him. The blood of Christ has brought us near. Because of what Christ did we can come to the Father. We are citizens along with all Gods people in Gods family. We are a part of His house and Jesus Christ is the cornerstone. We are carefully joined together in Him becoming a holy temple for the Lord. We can come boldly and confidently into Gods presence. Our roots with grow down deeper into Gods love and will continue to grow strong. We can experience the love of Christ even though it is too great to understand fully. We are made complete with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. We are part of a body and we each have our own special work. We are His dear children. We can come against evil because as one of Gods children we have access to His armor.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Seep into Grace
When I seep into Grace, its like all my senses shift. Its a perspective and a giving and an exhale...
Its one bath of waters I can sometimes forget to allow God to fill.
Boys fight over what colour of playdough belongs to them and I refuse to get out of the water.
I just finished reading Ann Voskamp's newest blog post and it reads Grace
My husband walks in with our oldest daughter, and he's playing loud rap music and its preaching the Gospel and the words I hear coming out are the feelings I steep my soul into. Grace.
My husband leaves on missions in ten days and I pray Gods Grace.
As children act out of control after too much sugar and not enough calm. I share Gods Grace as it pours out.
Overflow it into me God so it can pour out onto them.
Grace is where I hear Him. Its where His voice is a whisper but its loudest for me. Where my joy explodes and I feel at peace.
It leaves me with total respect, head over heels in love and fear of God. He is so gracious. I never want to misuse this Grace. When I lay it down, all of it down and He pours out Grace brand new and it brings me back and I re-center. A Mother works hard, and yet while a body aches from scrubbing baseboards and preparing for winter, a spirit can be at its most strength and most rest because of operating in Him and for Him. Christ is my center.
Renewed. Refreshed.
Thank You Father for You're Grace.
Thank You for those who write continuously about Gods Grace.
Its timely, and a spot I wish to never move from.
Its one bath of waters I can sometimes forget to allow God to fill.
Boys fight over what colour of playdough belongs to them and I refuse to get out of the water.
I just finished reading Ann Voskamp's newest blog post and it reads Grace
My husband walks in with our oldest daughter, and he's playing loud rap music and its preaching the Gospel and the words I hear coming out are the feelings I steep my soul into. Grace.
My husband leaves on missions in ten days and I pray Gods Grace.
As children act out of control after too much sugar and not enough calm. I share Gods Grace as it pours out.
Overflow it into me God so it can pour out onto them.
Grace is where I hear Him. Its where His voice is a whisper but its loudest for me. Where my joy explodes and I feel at peace.
It leaves me with total respect, head over heels in love and fear of God. He is so gracious. I never want to misuse this Grace. When I lay it down, all of it down and He pours out Grace brand new and it brings me back and I re-center. A Mother works hard, and yet while a body aches from scrubbing baseboards and preparing for winter, a spirit can be at its most strength and most rest because of operating in Him and for Him. Christ is my center.
Renewed. Refreshed.
Thank You Father for You're Grace.
Thank You for those who write continuously about Gods Grace.
Its timely, and a spot I wish to never move from.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
They are a gift.
I sat on the bus. Ear phones in quiet as Tehillah-Joy snuggled up wrapped on my chest under my coat. I was off to visit a wonderful friend who is a 50 minute bus ride away.
You can be filled with the knowing of Gods presence even on a busy city bus. God can share and put pieces together while you are being still while out and about surrounded by busyness.
I looked down at this baby and she slept so sound. The Kingdom belongs to little ones such as this. Did she know God as He formed her? Did He speak her purpose over her and did she hear His voice whisper and declare it over her? As I wondered these things, how she slept so calm during loud conversations, busy streets and all phones ringing, I remember how God calls us into His rest during chaos. Our world is at fast pace. His rest is vital for our survival. Thoughts of how our purposes are plotted out and this chubby cheeked blessing quietly dreaming right under my chin is part of mine as well as the ones at school and at home with Dad.
Its like God in a moment of pause drops the book of purposes for my life down in front of me and the page that flips open is their names and my heart pounds and along with it is a bit of anxiety creeping in.
I text my husband
"Have you ever been reminded of a purpose God has for your life and its from a slightly different angle and you realize that this job you have while some view as not enough for the Kingdom is so so vital?"
It was like God showed me:
You need to train up your kids---MY kids in My ways. To teach them of mornings spent with Me before all else. They are a gift. They are not yours to ruin, they are yours to show them Me. To know and follow My Son who is so in love with them, to let them fall in love with Him as well. To teach them how easy it is to call out to Me in a moments notice, for everything and anything. You are helping them with their eternity. This is a purpose I have for you.
I know its not just me who teaches my children the ways of Jesus. We belong to a community who takes the young under their wings as well, showing Jesus' love and grace and shows them all things Holy. But when God grips you so tight, taking your hand and gently shifts you over even if its just a tad to see what you're doing at a different angle it makes me kinda scared. Their eternity... Holy boley.
But God is love and His grace is amazing and all the times He has guided and provided I cannot count. To teach them to trust Him I must do the same. I must take His hand and in moments of feeling unworthy or not experienced enough, remind myself life with Jesus is not about having it all figured out but having a relationship with Him most high. He will guide me through each moment to teach them how to let Him guide them through each moment. He's a true teacher and friend. To show them that is vital. He is nessessary. He is Life. He has to be fully embraced and intentionally lived.
You can be filled with the knowing of Gods presence even on a busy city bus. God can share and put pieces together while you are being still while out and about surrounded by busyness.
I looked down at this baby and she slept so sound. The Kingdom belongs to little ones such as this. Did she know God as He formed her? Did He speak her purpose over her and did she hear His voice whisper and declare it over her? As I wondered these things, how she slept so calm during loud conversations, busy streets and all phones ringing, I remember how God calls us into His rest during chaos. Our world is at fast pace. His rest is vital for our survival. Thoughts of how our purposes are plotted out and this chubby cheeked blessing quietly dreaming right under my chin is part of mine as well as the ones at school and at home with Dad.
Its like God in a moment of pause drops the book of purposes for my life down in front of me and the page that flips open is their names and my heart pounds and along with it is a bit of anxiety creeping in.
I text my husband
"Have you ever been reminded of a purpose God has for your life and its from a slightly different angle and you realize that this job you have while some view as not enough for the Kingdom is so so vital?"
It was like God showed me:
You need to train up your kids---MY kids in My ways. To teach them of mornings spent with Me before all else. They are a gift. They are not yours to ruin, they are yours to show them Me. To know and follow My Son who is so in love with them, to let them fall in love with Him as well. To teach them how easy it is to call out to Me in a moments notice, for everything and anything. You are helping them with their eternity. This is a purpose I have for you.
I know its not just me who teaches my children the ways of Jesus. We belong to a community who takes the young under their wings as well, showing Jesus' love and grace and shows them all things Holy. But when God grips you so tight, taking your hand and gently shifts you over even if its just a tad to see what you're doing at a different angle it makes me kinda scared. Their eternity... Holy boley.
But God is love and His grace is amazing and all the times He has guided and provided I cannot count. To teach them to trust Him I must do the same. I must take His hand and in moments of feeling unworthy or not experienced enough, remind myself life with Jesus is not about having it all figured out but having a relationship with Him most high. He will guide me through each moment to teach them how to let Him guide them through each moment. He's a true teacher and friend. To show them that is vital. He is nessessary. He is Life. He has to be fully embraced and intentionally lived.
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