Wife, Mother, Worshiper of Christ, trying to live on His timetable and not my own
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Understanding God will be my comfort in childbirth
We are hitting our last trimester... Where did the time go. In the words of my friend Daisy Im going to need my own postal code soon, I feel this little girl is running out of room in there, Im starting to see elbows poking out and you can really feel her kick. Its a truly amazing blessing to feel a life growing inside you. I have very much enjoyed carrying this girl, and as she begins to get bigger and we hit the home stretch of only 12 more weeks (which will happen super fast Im sure), I realize that the time for birth is coming soon.
I started looking into water births yesterday. Started to talk to moms who have been there about the pros and the cons. Started reading lots and lots. The cons started to outweigh the pros in our case. Would there be room in our house for a birthing tub? (We are planning to have her at home) Would there be time? Is it what I really really want to do? "Birthing plans" can be overwhelming. This labour will be different because it is a new experience, a new birth. My three previous births were all very different from eachother. A Mother can never fully prepare for labour, and Im sure it never ever goes 100% according to the plan. But I cant help but try and figure it out.
So then I laid in bed, almost stressed out about this birth and it was like God said "You have allowed me to take care of this pregnancy thus far, I will take care of your labour as well."
And the more I think about it, I dont want to make anything other than God my comfort measure, my "epidural" my "birthing tub". There is no subsitute for God. He is our comforter, our provider, our sheild. He's madly in love with His children and ofcourse that means even during birth! For myself and this child inside, He is fully capable of taking control.
So I begin approaching this different. I planned on having worship music playing, Scripture near by and in my heart, definatly prayer, but these things I never put in the place of PRIORITY during birth. Up until last night they were secondary. But God wants to be first.
He wants me to seek Him continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11 says Search the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him (NLT). That means all the time. Even during contractions, during transition, during things that may go wrong. To never panic
I understand Gods power, I understand what He has poured out for me, and that Holy Spirit dwells within me and I have the ability to approach God with anything. He see's the begining to the end. There are no surprises. He's already gotten it all under His control. He is bigger. It all comes down to trust.
So this is where I put down my stress about birth, about how its going to go down. What position I wanna be in, where I wanna be in the home, and lay this birth down at God's feet, like I did with the pregnancy and say "have Your way Lord." 24 hours of stressing out about a birth I ultimatly in the end have little control over was 24 hours too long. Time to shift it over to the One who gave birth to the entire universe, and allow Him to comfort me while brining Tehillah into the world.