Today I headed to Church with a bit of a struggle at hand. It seems as though when I am able to put something on my mind aside that has been eating away, something occurs that brings it around again. This week it was a phone call and a dream that really brought a desire in my heart back around and it made me uneasy about my emotions. I felt it made me a bit more "weak" in a sense. Never the less I headed to Church, hoping that I would be able to hear the Lord speak to me about my feelings. In hopes some Scripture would really hit home. Well it was much more than that today. Praise God.
While singing I began to pray once again about unity and peace about this issue, about really being able to hear what God wants for my family, to be really able to understand what my position should be. What is Gods will for me. The first song stopped, and the worship team began to play "You make all things, work together for my good." I started to laugh out loud and I felt the Holy Spirit pour over me. I began to cry as I lifted my arms in praise to our living God, the God who can hear our prayers, knows our hearts. I have heard this song many times before but today, it hit home harder than ever.
The guest pastor began to speak, and I knew God was speaking through him in that moment and I really understood that even if it was towards the entire congregation that gathers there each Sunday, God wanted to make sure I understood that it was also for me as an individual. The Pastor spoke. "You are precious to Him." and "You need to lean on Him with not just your mind, but also your heart!" I began to weep uncontrollably. Tears were pouring out of my eyes, my nose was running, wheres a kleenex when you need it!
God, Your love NEVER fails. God has got this whole situation under control. I need to give it to Him with my heart, which I think is something I havent fully been able to do because I am afraid that what He wants may not be what I want. The next song was " I Will Rise" and I havent heard that song in a long time, but when going through a deep depression while pregnant with my third child Zayden, God spoke to me through nature by showing me an Eagle far off in the distance, and reminding me of the scripture that has forever been close to my heart Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)
those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
I didnt even know there were eagles in our area. I had never ever seen one or really desired to see one. It was such a gift from God. Today
God was reminding me that He got me through that horrific time in my life, and He will get me through this struggle as well. There was even mention of being "stuck in the mud." Something I only blogged about a few weeks ago.
Our whole service was about peace and unity. Two things I have been praying so hard for. Amazing. God is so amazing. The emotions I had experienced in only a few hours today were unbelievable. God hears us, He understands what is going on in our lives and wants to be there for us. He will give us peace.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33
Jesus wants me to walk in His peace. There is nothing more I can do and nothing I can do less that will make Him love me any different. I am precious to Him. We are all precious to Him. Praise God.
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